stop falling for jerks

First girlfriend was the only non-asshole I have dated. WTF?!?
I mean our relationship was kinda bogus since it was 98% on the the interwebz, but still she’s the nicest.

My second girlfrind was okay even though she was in the closet. But she was extremely afraid of commitment and then decided the appropriate time to tell me and break up with me was two days after my Grandma died.

My third girlfriend seemed like a total sweetheart. That is until she had sex with one of my best friends at a party that I was downstairs at…and proceded to keep it a secret from me for a month.

Why the crap do I get stuck with these jerks…can the next one be someone nice. Please?!

I found Devon, and now I look back and try to figure out how I could have let myself settle for all of the guys of my past…but I still can’t figure it out.

All I know is that I’ve finally found someone who truly cares about me, and I love everything about him.

I have been so disenchanted with guys in my age group (21 to 23 years of age). I really wish that I knew going into college that most guys this age are not ready for the word commitment. I don’t know what it is. When I meet these guys, they seem pretty damn normal. But then they pull something really stupid that shows their lack of character and I’m left with frustration and rubbing my head, asking “what the f* just happened?” This guy that I’ve liked since last semester really showed his true colors. And the stories that I heard from other people about him being a manwhore really didn’t help his case. My friend J. asked this guy (We’ll call him D.) if he liked me. He said he did, but there was no point in telling me now since we’re about to graduate in 2 weeks. I’m like “then why the hell did you not say anything?!” It’s frustrating because I liked him too, but there’s no point now. He’s going to a totally different state after we graduate. Way to go!

So then I go to this party yesterday and this one girl tells me how D. invited over for a little afterparty (if you know what I mean, wink, wink…). So she went to his house and knocked on his door, but he didn’t answer because he realized he was drunk and really was not attracted to her. I’m like “what the hell? What decent person does that?” Then I discover that he’s pretty much attempted to or has made out or slept with at least half of the girls we work with. People were telling me, “Oh, he’s such a good kisser” or “I heard he was a really big dk.” I was on information overload and I was getting really irritated. I’m still irritated as I’m writing this.

The truth is I have way too much class and dignity for the kid and he’s just a manwhore. I mean, I’m glad I didn’t sleep with him and then find out all this information. Then I would have been just another number to him. I look at him so differently now. I thought he was pretty cool, but I don’t know so much anymore. We have class together tomorrow, so that should be interesting. I don’t even know how to interact with him anymore. I’ve lost a lot of respect for him.

Yeah, so this guy in my class asked me to hang out with him two times and he stood me up both times. Well, it turns out that he’s an alcoholic that needs to get hammered before he goes out. So I not-so-slowly but surely backed away from him and deleted his phone number. Turns out this guy has got major issues. Dammit! They don’t look like they have issues when I first meet them. Why do I keep on attracting guys with issues? I do not need any more drama, that’s for sure!

join the club… i go for f**k ups. i love them, and i want to help people, yet find i get nothing back. sometimes i find that somebody appears normal, but i later find out that theyve got an issue with something..

my last ex-has psychotic episodes, was depressed, was a male rape victim, and had drug dependednce issues.

before that? had anger management problems, borderline personality disorder and an alcoholic.

before that? alcoholic who was immature and couldnt commit to a relationship.

before that? a cheat who 3 timed me.

hmm..how do we break the cycle?

I don’t know what it is. I constantly fall for jerks. That sucks. They don’t appear to be jerks at first. My intuition works every other time, but not when it comes to spotting jackass guys.