I learned that I’ve been chosen to participate in a work-related activity that I expect will both be an enjoyable experience as well as enhancing some particular skills. So now I’m trying to “just be with it” in the moment, rather than allowing various fears & worries to cloud the joy that I did feel when I learned yesterday that I’ve been selected as one of the thirty participants in the state for the workshop this summer. 1 month ago
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The funeral will be tomorrow (I am sooooo sad).
I hope it will help (me & everyone else).
Re-reading my goal entry from last spring (the most recent previous loss), I realized an almost incredible coincidence:
THEN: “This morning I held a baby (a co-worker’s son, now eight weeks old [—& named after his grandfather].”
NOW: “This evening I held a baby (a co-worker’s daughter, now twelve weeks old—& named after her grandmother).”
Both times I was offered the chance to hold the baby (life) on the same day that the loss (death) occurred.
And so it goes….4 months ago
This morning at work we learned that a young associate – with whom I’d been working closely since August – died last night. I was able to talk with two close colleagues shortly after learning the news, & an EAP grief counselor will be making the rounds this afternoon. But really, I’m still just in shock….
A horrid reminder (as if I’d needed it!) to … Be. Here. Now.4 months ago
How I did it: During the winter months, I found myself spending a fair amount of time feeling miserable. I spent a lot of time reflecting on my past, on happier and more social times in my life, and thinking about the future. While thinking of earlier times in my life is fine, and thinking of the future is necessary, I was doing it to the exclusion of experiencing what was going on in my life at that time. I want to be a person who embraces life as it is, and works to make it better while still acknowledging the way that things actually are. So I set up this goal!
I paid careful attention to my thoughts.
I had to know where I was in my life, and in my day-to-day, to appreciate it. I really had to take some time for myself, and to reflect on things, on all things.
I started making notes on what was going on around me. I started talking to others about that, too. Maybe it sounds a little corny, but when talking with friends I would tell them about little things like a snack I had, or a dog I saw while on a walk, instead of just how work/school/love was going.
I also have been paying more attention to my feelings and to my thoughts. Not in an effort to control them, necessarily, but definitely to assess them, to figure out why I have them and whether they're worth paying attention to. Read how I did it… 12 months ago
This morning I held a baby (a co-worker’s son, now eight weeks old).
This evening I said goodbye to a friend (a sangha member, just two years older than I am).
Both are reminders to … Be. Here. Now.13 months ago