become a more positive person

I’m extremely resentful of my current living situation and I don’t want it to push away the one person who gives a shit about me. I want to not be so focused on the disparity of what is happening at this time and look forward to the future even though it may seem distant. I want to learn to make the best of a bad situation. I’ve literally spent the past 3 weeks on my futon moping and refusing to leave my apartment unless it’s to check the mail. I’ve let my hate for this town consume me and I fear that it may hinder me when I’m finally free of it, all this obsessive brooding on my misery I’m doing. I can’t let it stifle me. I can’t let it make me revert. I’ll find a way to get through this.

For most of my life I always tried to find the positive in everything and the past few years for some reason I have become very negative. My negativity is starting to rub off on my daughter and has ruined my relationship w/ my family, friends, and most importantly my girlfriend of 9 yrs.

I want to look forward to waking up each day happy again instead of just wanting to stay in bed and wishing I could just sleep the depression and negativity away.

...and at some point everything really becomes positive. It’s not just the way I see it, it’s attracting the positive things.

Im too fucking negitive.
I really need to make things better and not blame everything on others and not covet and get jealous over what others have. Thats a really really unheathy thing for me to do. and its tearing me apart

I am happiness
and the blessed
being that bears
fruit of joy
through breathing