become a better lover

Now it’s done.
I’m fully and properly replaced.
I knew this would come, and I now think I’m able to live with it.
But that come to make me understand that this goal was useless.
I mean, it’s better to aim to become a better man than a better lover. Of course, there are thing proper to love relations that one could improve, but this goal can not be an exit door to solve a couple in peril. In these case, if the one do not love you for what you are, it would be some kind a lie to change who you are ratter than to improve who you are.
Love is a two way relation. If one of these sides come to shrink, the balance do not longer exist. Some times, it could be brought back, but it’s useless to hold in place someone that simply want to go… even if this step is hard. You can accept to live your life with someone else, but no matter how long it last, it never make you possess this person.

I think I finally reached the point at which I accept the situation. It’s still hard to feel, but I can go on. I just hope I’ll be able to talk to her like in the old times…
I feel like I’ve just lose the brightest star in the sky of my life, and in the sky at all… so I’m kind of lost for the moment, but it gave me time to think about my future plan, and at least, as long as I keep goals for the next day, I’m walking. I don’t know when, but as long as I am going forward, I’m getting closer from the exit of this black pitch.
I just have to be certain that I’m not hiding behind anything. To say that I will stop to love her would be a lie, but I will be able to live without her, although I’ll feel a little empty in the first times…

I’m not sure I’ll even keep that goal. Why?
It’s a strange mix between the fact that I think it would be better to simply become a better man and an impression that keep burning me from the inside, that even if I tried harder than the best I can give, it would not be enough.
Actually, I simply think to quit, to let go. It’s hard not to be trusted by the women you love.
Am I too stupid? Less than a week from now, she was telling me that she would like to continue her way with me, with a certain distance for now… but now, it’s like I’m a bug. I’m there if she needs things she can’t do by herself, but not to talk, not to listen…
I fear it’s simply the end. She told me that before, and I thought I would be ready to let her go, but it’s harder as I live with her…
I would be ready and happy to simply live our lives as friends, on our side, but to be ignored (although it’s not exactly the right word…not being the one) is to hard the weak heart of mine.

I had a few hard times these last weeks.
I know I’m not perfect, but my girlfriend made me realize I’m even worse than what I thougt. I really love her, and I understand that if I continu that way, I’ll lose her…
Thing is, it’s hard to understand what it needs!
The last few days were better, but I felt a little breakdown today.
I really need to identify the things I have to change/improve.
I understand that if the relation is not to be kept, it is a bad thing to try to make it survive. But actually, I think this is more of a misunderstanding than the real degradation of our relationship…

Sex is OVERRATED! Or so it seems to me at least, for random sex.

The art of making love is not confined to the excitement of the new, but to a much greater extent to the pleasure of the known.

Try to discover what your lover likes, ask them, watch their responses, listen to their breathing, go along the scale of tender to violent and find out what makes your lover want to give all himself/herself to you. Then do it again and again and again..find new points along that scale.

Do not be selfish, instead give pleasure..as much as you possibly can. Feed off their excitement, make them beg for more, make them beg you to stop. Never demand, let them pleasure you. Be responsive.

Smile. It shows them that you are happy, it encourages them to be happy too, to want to feel you closer.

Be gentle – carress their bodies, close your eyes and take a walk with your hand for as long as you like. It will be an extremely sensual experience for both of you.

Give your chest for them to bury their faces – he/she will feel ‘at home’, protected, vulnerable, able to relate to you.

Massage their bodies as if you are making love to them – slowly and with devotion.

Kiss/bite them where they like to be kissed/bitten.

And most importantly – do not concentrate on getting off, CONCENTRATE ON THE PLEASURE OF HAVING SEX. This, I found out, is the best way to bring me satisfaction regardless of the outcome. Some lovers have given me multiple orgasms, some have given me only a few if ever. But I swear I loved making love to them all, every time, over and over again.

This is the power of devotion,the essence of experiencing pleasure, the ability to make passion last, in short – the art of love-making.

I don’t know why I can’t just belive that someone loves me and wants to be with me…

I am a big man with big hands. I need to learn how to not be in a hurry. I need to learn how to have a feather-light touch. I want to be better at verbalizing things in bed, because the woman’s main sex organ is her brain.

They practice makes perfect…Well what if you need someone to practice with. I just want to be good for that person. I want to expierence new things and hopefully my next partner will too. One theroy I have about sex is that couples must match up well. Height, weight,etc. I agree with some of the others that I enjoy satisfiying my lover numerous times even if I don’t even get off once. I like recieving felltio…...but I also like giving cunnilingus. I think that most of the women I have been with have liked it and got off. But I want to make sure that I am good at it and drive them nuts..:)

that everything in life is a power struggle, even something as straighforward as this goal?

Please advise.

Love is so tender and serious. Love is dangerous. I am a selfish lover. I am a tender lover. I am a friendly lover. But I am not a good lover. I know this. And the ones whom I have tried to love know this fact as well. Maybe the tantra book can help. I heard someone say that you should meditate everyday on the one thing you want to become better at doing. I will meditate tomorrow. We will see how that goes.