stop trying to control everything

I am trying to control my childrens behavior and when they don’t listen I get upset. I am also always telling them to hurry even when we don’t need to hurry, just to get them to do something. When I get upset I stay upset or withhold affection so they know I am upset and to make them listen. I need to relax and be okay with things the way they are. No one is perfect and I should love my children even when they don’t listen and do what I ask them to do. I need to be more affectionate and compassionate and less controlling and angry.

Losing control complete made me realise that I had been obsessing over silly things. And life is pretty good when you just learn to plod along and chill out.

My problem used to be trying to control people, more than anything, I always wanted to know what people were thinking so I knew what would happen – but life is much more interesting when there’s suprises around every corner :]

I’m driving myself crazy and I cant take it anymore. I have to stop trying to control everything. I truly believe that if I just step back my issues that bring me stress will work out. I say this..but I still stress out and try and control them. My goal is to let go..so what I’m 29 and in school, I dont have a lot of money and I’m not 100 passionate about the thing I’m going to school for…but hey gotta finish something…oh my gosh that’s another thing… I dont finish things!

I try to control everything to the point of headaches. I want everything perfect or as close as it can be. I feel anxiety when I know that I can’t control the outcome of something. Like making a perfect world for my family. It’s unreal. It’s irrational. It’s unattainable. but I can’t seem to just let go. I hate it.

I try to take control too much (full stop).

I’m reading a book, “Unconditional Parenting” which has helped me a lot in this area as well as with my “Be a better mother” goal. I’ve gone to saying, “yes” to most everything my children ask me, even if it’s something I’m not really into doing at the moment. They seem happier and I feel less stress in not having to control every situation with them. So they’ll get dirty, so playdoh will end up on the floor, etc. Also, I’ve taken to not getting angry but instead explaining the reasons behind admonishments. It’s helping, a lot.

And I really don’t feel like I’ve made much progress on it. Okay, that isn’t exactly true. I’ve started identifying behavior that is controlling.

I’ve also started letting go of things that are happening around the home. My husband is at home right now, so he is the one who cleans house, etc. and I have to make myself not care if something is in the wrong place or something of that nature. It certainly hasn’t been easy, but I know that I’ve really gotten carried away with how much I’m trying to control things.

Wow, reading what I’ve just written I realize what a hard time I’m having with this. Even my language reflects it: if something is in the wrong place ???? I suppose where the right/wrong place is all a matter of opinion, after all.

I really have made very little progress on this. Although, I am identifying behavior that can be classsified as controlling... That surely is a step in the right direction.

I try to control everything. I have a really hard time letting people help me with things. For some reason I believe that it makes me a better, stronger person if I can do it all on my own. I think I really need to lose this attitude!

I feel like I have to control everything. No, really. If things don’t go as I ‘plan’ (or, more commonly, expect) or something unexpected happens then it just shits me off. I’m sick of this.

Clearly I cannot control everything in my life, yet I seem to want others to be perfect and the way I want and criticise them in my mind for being imperfect even though I am about the least perfect person around.

I feel bad just thinking about it, and it gives me stress because I know that I cannot control my entire life but I keep trying to for some reason.