Learn to live in the moment

Ever since I can remember I have been making lists of things I needed to do: call friend, make a dentist appointment, fix something broken, get insurance, visit meeting. This used to make me feel like I was in control and when I checked everything of my list I was free.

Lately, I have been feeling like these lists are taking over my life, because I feel that I am never done. I have come to realize that something else will get broken, I will have to see the dentist again in a few months and as time passes it’s about time I called that friend again… I can never sit down and relax, because there’s always something else to do. If not today then tomorrow. I also always doubt if I wrote everything I had to do on the list…

When I was talking to a friend a few months ago I told her that I thought you can only be happy in retrospect. Only when the moment is over you can realize how wonderful it was. She thought I was crazy! And I might be. I want to learn how to breathe, feel, enjoy and absorb the moment instead of constantly living in the future!

I’m not constantly in the moment, but I’m aware of when I am, and when I’m in my head. So that’s a start I suppose.

When I do manage to be in the moment it’s beautiful.

The two greatest tools for achieving this have been:

- the pain of anxiety and the desire to move away from it
- my desire to refine and live my feelings about spirituality

A catalyst has been my reading of Eckhart Tolle’s books and simultaneous discovery of this website and all the wonderful intentions of the people who are a part of this community.

There used to be a time, that I would just be walking down the sidewalk, and I’d suddenly just stop and take a deep breath. I used to be able to notice the color in the leaves, the crisp air, the sunnyness of the day. The past few months I seem to have lost that sense of just being happy with the moment. I don’t stop anymore to notice these things. I remember these secret smiles creeping across my face that just made me feel so good about everything, while realizing that I probably looked like a creep to everyone else since I was laughing to myself, but it didn’t matter because I was just happy with life and everything. I’ve been stressed out a lot. I think too much about things. I worry too much about my relationships. I should have just let things be and waited to see how things fell into place. Anyways, I’m working on living in the moment again. I want that smile back…

I focus a lot on the future and it works as a strong motivator but also creates a lot of stress. I find more and more that when I try to anticipate every variable as I make decisions that I waste a lot of energy. I would like to learn to enjoy the present. I believe that this will lead to a better outcome and I will be happier during the journey.

You forget about everything else except the “now”. And I can honestly say it was one of the best days of my life…

when your able to just look at something and realize that your not wishing for anything better or that you dont need anything “perfect ” to make it your perfect its the best.

maybe i’m presuming too much. still, i dont freak out anymore about little things. i can be late. i can just sit. and not feel the need to entertain you.