control my diabetes

first step would be to do my entries in my diary on a regular basis.

... and I suppose I might not get there ‘til it’s too late anyway. But my last A1c was 5.9 so that’s better! I’ve had to raise my basal by 20% so far.

I was just diagnosed with diabetes two weeks ago. In that time, I’ve cut out everything from my diet that I’m supposed to, I’ve started getting up early to exercise, and I’ve testing my sugar and dosing myself with insulin like I’m supposed to. And it’s paid dividends already; my glucose came WAY down, to almost within normal range (83-125). So I’m doing the day-to-day things I’m supposed to be doing.

That doesn’t make this any easier mentally, though.

My moods have been up and down on the negative spectrum, from the lows of severe depression (and yes, offing myself did flit through my mind, I won’t lie) to the highs of anxiety to almost panic attacks and crying jags (I’m about to cry as I write this).

My friends have been really awesome about this. They’ve been no end of support so far, offering both shoulders to cry on and some “tough love” when I need it. My family, not so much. My father (who’s also diabetic) says I can handle it and kind of closes up, and my mother apparently wants me to have a stiff upper lip about all this.

I went back to the doctor and started on antidepressants to help me even out a little, but that’s going to take some time to kick in.

Has anyone else had the emotional roller-coaster? How did you deal?

It’s too big. I think I’m going to retire it and change to much smaller, weekly or so goals that I can do and aren’t so overwhelming.

that I will be hooked up to a pump in exactly one week. Stay tuned for the emotional backlash – it should be fun!

My diabetes doesn’t seem real to me. I’m type 2. I don’t know much about it even. I was diagnosed over a year ago. I need to learn more about it. I’m doing phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. I got all the stuff out and tested myself three times. I was 260 when I woke up. I took my meds and it came down to 254. I had lunch and I took it this evening it is 191. I took my second dose. Going to go check it again. I am also starting a work out program. The first phase of SB diet is to cleanse the blood stream of excessive sugar. It will be interesting to see how much every thing comes down.

One step back – So I either totally miscounted my late lunch or my soda wasn’t diet or some mixture of the two and around 6:00 I felt really grumpy. Really grumpy. Like frustrated over the silliest things. I sat down for dinner, checked the BS and the meter said

“422”

Crap. OK, so now I know why my family is avoiding me. I shoot a ton of insulin and put dinner on the back burner. I eat a bit later and lie down to read for awhile.

The evening progresses and now it’s time to take my evening insulin. I inject my usual 15 units and notice that it’s food insulin, not evening insulin. Crap. I take the evening stuff and put the boy to bed. I come downstairs and let the eating frenzy begin. I think my chances of it all evening out are slim to none. Sigh. Tomorrow is another day.

On the bright side, my sister bought me and the boy a copy of The Littles, which we read the first 3 chapters of tonight before bed. And I finally washed the top of the boys head after much neglect. The water pooled off his at first like a duck.

for two weeks and I’m noticing that it’s a bit easier up here to control things because I don’t eat so much before bed. Food for thought.

Also I had some bloodwork last week and my H1C went down .9 points. It’s still high, but it’s definitely going in the right direction – and no, I’m not going to tell you what the number was.

I mean, the trend is much better over the past 10 days as opposed to weeks before that.

It’s a trend I’d like to continue.

Must do this one morning soon so that my HbA1C can be checked. Hopefully it will have improved again.