feel comfortable looking people in the eyes

I think I do better at this when I feel better about myself. Right now I’m at one of my higher weights and I just feel disgusting and as a result I don’t want to look people in the eyes because I don’t really want anyone to see me. I like being invisible when I hate myself. I am working on this, trying really hard to lose 40 lbs (but only really started to focus this week). I just need to stay on task. I want to be a me I can be proud of…

The people, teachers, friends, and family i know i am comfortable looking them in the eyes. If i know them than its easy. But its the people i don’t know, the strangers that i never look into the eyes. I want to over come the fear of doing this.

This is something that I have never been able to do, but it’s usually with people that I don’t really know that well or am for some reason self-conscious around. I am a rather shy person around people that I don’t know or don’t feel comfortable talking to and I usually look around or fidget with something when we’re talking. I really don’t like doing this and I’m pretty sure they notice it so it would be wonderful if I could stop.

This is something I’ve focused on before and done well with but in the last few weeks I have noticed that I have let myself start slacking at. I think this should only take a few weeks of concentration on before I’m at least back to status quo. I know a lot of it is self esteem based so I will have to relfect on that as well.

I have never really been comfortable looking people in the eyes. I’m still not, but I am trying to work on it. I force myself to do it sometimes, only now I’m afraid I might come off as staring so I feel weird about it. I think it also depends on the person. I look my new boss in the eye to show her that I am listening, but I have to look away quickly. I have never been able to look my boyfriend’s family in the eye though. For that matter I can’t even look some of my own relatives in the eyes.

It took forever for me to get over, but I just made myself do it. I felt sooo self-conscious talking to people, especially people older than me (like teachers, etc.) and looking them in the eye. But I just made a conscious effort to do it every time I talked to someone. And you know what? It’s second nature now! And it really builds self-confidence, too. I’m so glad I made myself face my “fear of connecting” and just LOOK PEOPLE IN THEIR EYES! It’s very rewarding. :)

it’s a great technique – pick a pupil and look at it. at conversational distance, especially over a meal, your focal point includes only one eye of your friend and if you’re paying attention, one pupil. most people switch from one pupil to the other intermittently during a conversation, and faster when agitated.

picking a pupil and focusing on it will create the impression that you are paying close attention (even when you’re not! ;-) and that you are confident (again, even when you’re not).

try it.

I do it to give people the respect they diserve, It’s just a bonus when it freaks them out hehehe;}