meditate daily

But I think I should have set the timer for a shorter duration.

My concentration was quite good. As usual, thoughts drifted in to my mind but so long as I don’t latch on to them and they drift away again I don’t mind. I think my posture was a bit better too but I still had numbness by the end! It didn’t bother me during my meditation though.

This still isn’t a routine and I’m not quite sure why. I like it when I do it so I’m not sure what really stops me.

in a months time im heading off to the buddhist retreat centre in ixopo for a 2 week silent intensive meditation retreat. this time last year, i spent 10 days doing the same and it was so good for me that i decided to do something of the sort every year (next year a yoga ashram in india?)

so i want to get my sitting muscles in shape and start now. my practice has been patchy and disrupted but right now, more than ever, i could do with being more consistent. life is demanding a lot of me and i’m not sure i’m up to it… so the cultivation of a little inner stability would, i think, go a long way.

I bought a meditation cushion and then I meditated several times in that week, when it was new and I have to justify its high prize by actually using it. But now, same as ever.

It’s time to sit in meditation each day again, rather than assume I will keep up a meditative state throughout daily life.

I noticed that my attention was very poor yesterday. I was getting very distracted while reading and even watching films.

I did 20 minutes zazen this morning and although my attention wandered, I kept returning to my breath and I feel I improved as time went on. Later I was reading and I felt much more focussed – I really think meditation helps improve my concentration.

I think I might do a short session before bed this evening. I don’t mind doing it at all, it’s just not a habit yet and I often forget or put it off.

My brain never shuts down. I’m constantly trying to think 5 steps ahead, worrying about something I have no control over, creating mental lists…and so on. I need some peace and quiet. I think meditation might be the only way to really discover what’s going on within my own heart and soul and ultimately figure out what I really want in this life. And hopefully to love myself no matter what that turns out to be.

I really enjoyed it. It was an impromptu, untimed session in the garden. I didn’t sit on a cushion so my posture wasn’t 100% but it wasn’t too bad. I can now do a half lotus but my knees stick up in the air. I’m getting there though.

A 20 minute session. I got more focussed as time went. Part of what I’m hoping to achieve is to be able to sit without my feet getting pins and needles and to be able to sit in the half lotus. So it’s all practice and I’m getting there.

1. Dont resist any thought
2. Dont follow any thought
3. Dont create any thought

I need discipline.