that it’s New Year’s Eve (almost a whole year after 2005 finished), I’ve decided that it’s now or never for this one. I can’t locate the list I wrote out earlier this year, so I’m going to go from memory. I may confuse some of 2005 with 2006… but really, some of these lessons and achievements were (are) ongoing experiences, that can’t be identified as belonging to a specific moment in time. Some of them, I hope will continue for a while to come… as I continue to grow. After all… if we stop learning and growing, what reason is there for us being here?
So, here goes:
(btw… this could become rather long, so feel free to go and get yourself a cup of tea, or summat…)1. Achievement: Living on my own.
2. Lesson learned: No matter how hard you may try to change the course of events, some things really are inevitable.
As explained in my earlier entry.
3. Lesson learned: Family and friends will be there for you, if you allow them.
This was a hard lesson to learn. This is not to say that you shouldn’t make an effort to swim against the current… but there are times when you have to step back, look at the situation with a different perspective, and decide if what you’re fighting for is worthwhile.
4. Achievement: Choosing to swim, not sink.
I’ve never been much good at asking for help… and I always thought I was quite good at presenting life as being cheery and happy, even when it (I) wasn’t. But, even though they may not come out and say it, those who care (and sometimes even those who would struggle to pick you from a bar of soap) know that you’re putting on an act. People who love you want in on your life… the good and the bad. I’m really grateful for having discovered this.
5. Achievement: Stepping out of my comfort zone.
For a while there, sinking seemed the easier, and even the only, option. Yet, I decided that I wanted to do better than that. At times I started to feel that I was too tired, but I kept going. It helped a lot, knowing that I had family and friends to reach out to me when I really needed it. Oh, and counselling… definitely worth doing.
6. Achievement: Discovering (and rediscovering) myself.
Reminding myself to stop and think, “really, what’s the worst that can happen?”, has made a big difference. Some were small steps, and some have been pretty big. I pushed my boundaries, and found that I liked having a larger space in which to roam.
7. Lesson learned: Those old sayings always ring true.
I realised that I’d forgotten a lot about myself… such as how much I once enjoyed photography, even reading. I learned that I do actually like tomatoes, and running. As I began to examine myself a little closer, I found there were facets I’d never noticed, and many of which I’d lost sight.
8. Achievement: Becoming more active.
You know… ‘every cloud has a silver lining’, and ‘time heals all wounds’. As much as I’ve always cringed at these, it turns out there’s a reason we keep spouting them… because that’s just how it works.
9. Achievement: Finding 43Things.
I was never at risk of being labelled ‘sporty’. Much less ‘fit’. But (despite a few set-backs, here and there), I’ve found that I actually enjoy getting out and exercising. When I stick at it, I improve. And I like that.
10. Lesson learned: Appreciate where the road takes you… even when sometimes it seems you’ve been given a bum steer.
Although, initially there was no way I could have forseen just how important this site would become. I’ve made amazing connections here, and found something (someone) very special… which I never would have thought possible. In fact, if anyone had tried to suggest this to me, I’d have been backing away toward the door, thinking they were nuts.
I’m cheating a bit with this one, because although by the end of 2005 I could see that I was actually leaving a situation that was not good for me, I couldn’t have predicted that what seemed to be a crappy, pot-holey road, would lead me to such a beautiful place. I know I’ve talked about this before, but I look back at the bumpy road and I’m thankful for the journey, because it brought me here.
So, now (at half past three, on New Year’s Eve 2006), my 2005 reflection is finally finished. A little rushed, and very last minute. Pffft… bloody typical. 6 years ago