List the 10 Greatest Lessons Learned / Achievements Earned in 2005

that it’s New Year’s Eve (almost a whole year after 2005 finished), I’ve decided that it’s now or never for this one. I can’t locate the list I wrote out earlier this year, so I’m going to go from memory. I may confuse some of 2005 with 2006… but really, some of these lessons and achievements were (are) ongoing experiences, that can’t be identified as belonging to a specific moment in time. Some of them, I hope will continue for a while to come… as I continue to grow. After all… if we stop learning and growing, what reason is there for us being here?

So, here goes:

_{(btw… this could become rather long, so feel free to go and get yourself a cup of tea, or summat…)}

As explained in my earlier entry.

This was a hard lesson to learn. This is not to say that you shouldn’t make an effort to swim against the current… but there are times when you have to step back, look at the situation with a different perspective, and decide if what you’re fighting for is worthwhile.

I’ve never been much good at asking for help… and I always thought I was quite good at presenting life as being cheery and happy, even when it (I) wasn’t. But, even though they may not come out and say it, those who care (and sometimes even those who would struggle to pick you from a bar of soap) know that you’re putting on an act. People who love you want in on your life… the good and the bad. I’m really grateful for having discovered this.

For a while there, sinking seemed the easier, and even the only, option. Yet, I decided that I wanted to do better than that. At times I started to feel that I was too tired, but I kept going. It helped a lot, knowing that I had family and friends to reach out to me when I really needed it. Oh, and counselling… definitely worth doing.

Reminding myself to stop and think, “really, what’s the worst that can happen?”, has made a big difference. Some were small steps, and some have been pretty big. I pushed my boundaries, and found that I liked having a larger space in which to roam.

I realised that I’d forgotten a lot about myself… such as how much I once enjoyed photography, even reading. I learned that I do actually like tomatoes, and running. As I began to examine myself a little closer, I found there were facets I’d never noticed, and many of which I’d lost sight.

You know… ‘every cloud has a silver lining’, and ‘time heals all wounds’. As much as I’ve always cringed at these, it turns out there’s a reason we keep spouting them… because that’s just how it works.

I was never at risk of being labelled ‘sporty’. Much less ‘fit’. But (despite a few set-backs, here and there), I’ve found that I actually enjoy getting out and exercising. When I stick at it, I improve. And I like that.

Although, initially there was no way I could have forseen just how important this site would become. I’ve made amazing connections here, and found something (someone) very special… which I never would have thought possible. In fact, if anyone had tried to suggest this to me, I’d have been backing away toward the door, thinking they were nuts.

I’m cheating a bit with this one, because although by the end of 2005 I could see that I was actually leaving a situation that was not good for me, I couldn’t have predicted that what seemed to be a crappy, pot-holey road, would lead me to such a beautiful place. I know I’ve talked about this before, but I look back at the bumpy road and I’m thankful for the journey, because it brought me here.

So, now (at half past three, on New Year’s Eve 2006), my 2005 reflection is finally finished. A little rushed, and very last minute. Pffft… bloody typical.

2006 is almost over, and I still haven’t finished reflecting on 2005!

Somewhere, I have a list that I wrote, so perhaps I’ll just post the rest of the list, to finish this off.

The journey of many steps

It is said so often that life is a journey; it has its ups and downs, its times of plateaud comfort and stifling immobility, of daring adventure and discomforting challenge. Yet a journey implies not simply a self-realising, self-fulfilling destiny of one’s own separate life, but rather the traveling alongside of others. Sharing the journey

I’ve always been fiercely independent in my views, my aspirations and my focus of living. Yet from a number of different factors, 2005 forced me to be less introspective and take a fleeting glance at the world around me. I traveled with others, I learned with others, I grew with others and to some extent I journeyed with others. It is a humbling experience to realise that your life could have a strong bearing on the course of someone else’s life, that your views and actions could charter the waters for another individual. Each choice we make will have a butterfly effect on the world at large, on individuals, on circumstances and on the course of our own destiny.

Martin Luther King JR once made this profound statement “An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of individualistic concern to the broader concerns of all humanity.” Perhaps in more definitive terms, this was the lesson learned last year, one that is not grasped simply in a moment of enlightenment but that will be continued to be taught and learned for the many years to come. For our lives to truly have meaning and our journey to travel upon a path of significance there must be other people by which we can measure our lives, who can inspire, encourage and keep us within a measure of accountability.

Such realization presents me with an ongoing challenge to strive for the needs and desires not only of my own life but of the lives around me. To step outside the realm of familiarity and comfort and reach out to help another along his/her journey of life. We don’t have to be extraordinarily gifted to reach out and touch another’s life nor do we have to excel in academic excellence or philosophical wisdom – we simply have to be ready and available.

Traveling the South Island of New Zealand

New Zealand was neither an ultimate achievement nor a hallmarked lesson of life but it did provide some of the most memorable moments of 2005. A vacation in any sense of the word is generally one of the highlights of any year, it provides refreshment and rejuvenation of the mind, body and spirit enough to confront the next six or twelve months.

However, in predicted fashion our time away could not in any way be regarded as a rejuvenation of the body for in the course of our 10 day holiday, we rarely stopped for a breath. A friend and I traveled the South Island of New Zealand for 9 days starting in Christchurch and catching the Tranz alpine train across to Greymouth where we picked up our hired car. We drove through rugged terrain of snow capped mountains and turquoise flowing rivers and around every bend in the road, we were confronted with a breathtaking and photo worthy scene.

We walked to glaciers, cruised upon Milford Sounds, took a shotover jet through the canyons of Queenstown and bungee jumped into the Kewarau River. We lost our car key at Sky High, narrowly escaped being rained in as we left the sounds and awoke at Mt Cook just in time to see the most magnificent sunrise imaginable over the snowy ranges. We dressed up in Eskimo Suits at the Arctic Centre and hoped we could have kept them for the rest of the journey south which grew progressively colder as we traveled. We met a keen home video fantatic from Wellington who took pleasure in entertaining us with footage, a dog who stripped the clothes off dolls and teddybears, a crazy Irishman, a DJ from Aukland who tried his hand at being an amateur photographer which was more or less a comedy act, and an American whom we entertained with our Australian slang. We stayed in a castle with a view and in a room with no window at all, we ate prawn curries at a caravan in Akaroa, bought plumbs from a roadside stall in Queenstown, and wined and dined at the Hermitage with unparalleled views of Mt Cook in its pink night capped splendor.

The trip was full of laughable experiences, memorable moments and thousands of photographs to help us never to forget the journey. A mandatory concoction to finish off any great year.

Toiling a Garden

I have a tendency at times to embrace a project or task and pursue it with such fervency and dedication without first grasping a collective knowledge and awareness of what I’m actually stepping into. I exert an over-confident spirit which overrules any questions or inhibitions my lack of skill or experience may inspire. As a result… disaster strikes

I took my hand at gardening last year. It was in the heat of summer which is not the most ideal time to take up gardening, nor is it particularly conducive to planting seedlings and hoping they’ll grow. Nevertheless that fateful Saturday I woke up and felt inspired to create a garden. I went first to Bunnings to acquire the necessary tools (not that I really knew what they were) I simply picked up a few miscellaneous gardening objects and was sure I would be able to put them to use in some fashion.

Armed with mini spades and garden implements, I left Bunnings and headed for the nursery. Again my common sense did not avail in asking someone for advice. No indeed, for I was a seasoned gardener who knew exactly what I was doing… Growing climate and conditions, environmental factors, sizes and life expectancy of the plants or flowers bore no relevance in the plant selection process. Rather the key criteria was ‘how beautiful it looks’ or ‘perfect colours for the flower mix’. I came out of the store with a mix of vibrant looking plants that I thought would just look stunning in my new “garden bed”. And so I drove home, put on some old clothes and got straight to work.

In retrospect I would have to say it was one of the most calamitous events in the history of my life for I was so naïve and blonde in approaching the task that I overlooked every sensible argument, every green rule ever invented in the art of gardening. It was a hot Queensland day, high humid temperatures and clear skies providing no protection from the sun. I planted pansies in 35° temperature in the most exposed spot on the small garden bed (they were dead and wilted within an hour), I planted a green leafy plant (not realising that it grew up to be a huge tree) in a 1 foot square area and an indoor plant which flourished beautifully in the greenery at the nursery but lasted all of 2 hours in my (outdoor) garden. In addition to these, I planted numerous other plants of varying size, which required varying conditions some of which lasted miraculously and others which survived between 1 hour to 2 days. I think the only sensible choice in the morning’s purchases was a stone statuette which still survives to this day – the only survivor of that fateful Saturday.

I’ve realised, firstly that I do not have a green thumb and secondly that it’s not bad sometimes to stoop down from our platform of prideful confidence and ask someone for help. It is such a small admission to say ‘I need some assistance’ yet I am always so quick to think of every other way in the world to solve the problem myself before resorting to this admission of incompetence or inadequacy. I could never have made a true gardener of myself that day but should I have had wisdom enough to ask a few simple questions, I may today have a garden that is still alive and flourishing.

Joining 43 Things

As coy as it may sound, I would consider joining 43 things as one of my more prominent achievements of 2005. I think we often underestimate the power of writing, of articulating our thoughts, analysing our dreams and impregnating our hearts with visions and plans for the future, even if these ‘plans’ are simply the outworking of a daily to-do list.

Not only does this forum open our minds to the ideas and intuitive thinking of other people around the globe but it also encourages us to voice our own ideas, opinions and strengths. 43 things epitomizes unity in the very essence of the word. It represents the collaboration of diverse cultures, strengths, ideals and situations of life all intertwined into a beautiful tapestry of daily living.

I never cease to be amazed at the people who are encouraged, inspired or who identify with the words I and many others on this forum speak. For we are all on the same journey, otherwise known as life. Though we may all travel different paths and our journeys may encompass different parts of the globe, many of us confront the same issues, the same challenges, the same triumphs and defeats of humanity. Often we travel this road in isolation thinking that our lives are somehow remote and dissimilar from the rest of the world, however the moment we type in the webpage ‘www.43things.com’ we are confronted with a list of goals that epitomize the feelings of thousands of people are the globe which are, surprisingly enough, strangely familiar.

It may simply be a small step towards life organisation and realization but its effects ripple across many areas of my life and its repercussions have no doubt shaped some of the decisions made and ideals pursued in the last 12 months.

I am surprized how difficult it is list even ten achievements or lessons learnt in a whole year .This itself is the biggest lesson i have learnt …that how ordinary was my life last year.

Releasing Friendships

Life is seasonal; no doubt we have all heard that saying a thousand and one times before. Yet just as life goes through its seasons of change and renewal so do friendships. A short maxim commonly spoken is that ‘friendships are for a moment, a season or a lifetime’, we are not necessarily the deciders of such for fate has a way of choosing it for us.

Last year I had to relinquish a friendship that had played a prominent role in my life for the past two and a half years. Many people see that when a relationship comes to an end, everything invested in that other person is lost. They cast their memories to regret and dismiss the good to dwell on the unfortunate. I believe all relationships have a place, they play an essential part in the role-play of life and help in some way to shape who we will become. Moving into a new season does not instigate casting off the past season to misfortune and regret; rather it should us to reflect, to learn, to appreciate and to grow from our mistakes and successes.

Releasing this friendship was difficult because intertwined into our relationship were many memories, holidays, photos and moments of perfection that I did not wish to forget. Yet moving on does not by any means necessitate forgetting as I have later discovered. I had in some ways outgrown my friend and our lives were moving in two very different directions, therefore it was time to let go.

Letting go of this friendship necessitated a conscious decision yet as I look back through the many seasons of my life, I’ve come to realise that many friendship have come and gone, fluctuating as time and circumstances so required. Some required a definite closure and others just simply dissipated without anyone noticing – such is the paradox of life.

Achievement: Living on my own

Admittedly, this happened by necessity rather than by choice… so as a result, I didn’t enter into this new living arrangement in an incredibly positive frame of mind.

I’d never lived on my own before. At the age of 19, I moved from the family home (in Darwin) to Melbourne with my first boyfriend (whom I’d started seeing at the age of 16). We then lived together for 3 1/2 years. When I left that relationship, I lived with a friend for a short while, but basically ended up moving straight in with the man who’s about to become my ex-husband. We were together for just over 7 years, until I moved out in September 2005.

Everything about this move was confronting for me. Apart from being on my own, at a time when I felt completely shattered… I was moving into an area with which I was not hugely familiar. I was also moving from a lovely house that was mine… that we’d built… into a rented flat. Small and depressing in comparison.

Slowly, however, I began to adjust to my new abode. I started to enjoy the feeling of freedom… making my own decisions, taking full responsibility for everyday jobs and chores (okay, so I still suck at housework, but it gets done eventually). I even deal with spiders as required… there might be lots of squealing, but that squealing now accompanies action rather than running away and calling for help.

It’s taken a lot of time and adjusting… and I do still have boxes that I haven’t yet dealt with… but I’m now quite comfortable living on my own. I no longer equate it with ‘being alone’... and I even call this place home.

Expansion of my Photography Career

2005 presented me with a paradigm shift of one element of my life in particular – photography. I started the year oblivious to any further extension of my photography interests; it purely was a hobby which I had inherited from many years of taking photos of life. However, as the year progressed, photography became more inherent and it started evolving as a much stronger part of my life.

My trip to Africa in April of last year catapulted photography from its lowly state of pressing a button to understanding the art and technical expertise of taking photos. With knowledge came a greater love for the art form for it helped me to understand it better and gave me greater confidence in my talents.

The second phase and acceleration of my photography interests was the moment I was asked to photograph a wedding for a close friend’s workmate. I immediately discounted the idea as unrealistic for I felt fully unqualified to take on such a challenge, however with her insistence that she wasn’t too fazed about how the photos turned out – I agreed to take on her proposal. Although not everything went to plan on the day and in hindsight many things could have been done better… some beautiful photos came out of it and the bride was ecstatic with the results.

The truth is, expertise is outworked solely in experience and for that I am so grateful that I have been the beneficiary of such. Photographing a wedding for a day gave me a glimpse of why I love photography and boosted confidence in my own ability. It also laid the platform for yet another photographic exploit – going to New Zealand. Though primarily intended as a holiday, my trip to New Zealand allowed me to experiment and understand better the technical aspects of photography and different creative angles. It also resulted in some beautiful photos of the extravagant beauty and diversity of New Zealand which has added greatly to my portfolio.

It’s so interesting how life takes on turns that we would never have expected. Until the opportunity arose to go to Africa, I had never before considered that photography would adopt any significant stance in my life. Thus the unpredictability of life, there are some things that no matter how many hours we may dedicate to planning – life will always have its own way in the end.