There are many things my mother had done…that I feel have affected me and how I see the things in life. For one my childhood was horrible..My father was an alcoholic so my mom left him when I was 3 weeks old (good decision on her part) Then when I was about 2 she met a man and married him..(I believed him to be my real father!) She left him because he was crazy and stole money from her. I never had a true father figure in my life. Well when I was about 6 she met a man named Jeff. They got married and he adopted me…He was very good to her..but me he only had interest in until my mom and him had 2 little girls together (I love my sisters!) Once they were born though..Jeff had no interest in me..since I wasn’t his “blood” pretty much what happened was my mom cheated on jeff…then left him and our family. Jeff didnt want me living me him..so he dropped me off at my friends house in a different city…no money..only my clothes, and deserted me! I called my mom and asked if I could live with her..and she said “I’m trying to start my life with my boyfriend..and I don’t want you to ruin that.” she abandoned me..no place to go..That was a year ago..I am now happy living with my boyfriend in a different state..Everytime I call her she treats me like complete crap critisizing what I’m doing with my life..when she hasnt seen my little sisters or me in a year. She has selfish and has always only thought about herself!
I dont know if I will EVER forgive her.
How to forgive my mother
How I did it: Who's right? Who's wrong??? It doesn't matter, it's irrelevant, They are They and I am I, we are we, we are One. To forgive them is to forgive myself!
Things may not be perfect, but they can be BETTER!
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OneManArmy is drinking hideous amounts of tea
seriously…i think i can try to understand what happened…
i don’t think i’ll ever get over it…i don’t think its right what she did…i’ll always suffer because of it…
believe me, i’ve tried to forgive…
i think the most we can do is really try to understand why someone would do such a thing..
yet…i hope that this is somehow possible still..
AND THEN I come home to hear her having sex with her boyfriend, and I am too disgusted and terrified to know what to do.
mistakes Determinded
i have a lot of hate towards my mother for all the constant mental abuse my sister and i suffered while growing up, and it continues to this day. It wasn’t fair that she did that to us. She was so miserable, unbalanced and unhappy, it all became our fault, day after day, never knowing what we were going to get, totally unfair. Now that i’m a mom, i can never imagine doing something like that to someone you are suppose to love, or even hate for that matter. It really messed me up, the only way i will be able to move on is to get over it. I want to, but i’m having a hard time with letting it go. I want her to hurt as badly as she hurt me.
AMGL wonders if staying here is a good idea.
These have been very challenging months with my mother, but I think slowly, I am making progress. The whole thing is about dropping resentment (I guess this falls under the “let go” goal), and just taking any action from her as a reflection of what I myself am attracting. In other words, taking full responsibility for anything external that is happening in my life as something I have created for myself. And, at least for the last few days, this has worked. Still get upset with outbursts of aggression, but if I am seeing out there, it’s for a reason.
AMGL wonders if staying here is a good idea.
Read more about it here.
I forgave my mother completely on August 19th, 2008. This was as at sat by her on her death bed as she passed away from terminal lung cancer. As she let go, I let go. How sad that true forgiveness can sometimes only come (by our own choice) when it’s too late to matter anymore.
graycatbird ~ "follow the day and reach for the sun.."~
i asked my dad for my mother’s postal address. part of me wants to send her a holiday card and a recent picture of my son. but part of me is worried i might be opening a pandora’s box that i might not be emotionally equiped to cope with and the flip side to that is, if i don’t do this now, i may just keep putting it off.
i know she probably won’t apologise for things while i was growing up, but i know that the grudge i am carrying around is ultimately only eating a hole inside of me..
so step one, a way to make contact.
AMGL wonders if staying here is a good idea.
I almost lost it again a couple of days ago with my mom; actually, that was the reason I had not written in a while, it knocked me out so bad.
But, sometimes between yesterday and today, as I was walking alone, trying to get myself together, it dawned on me: I have the option of leaving my home, of getting out. I could totally walk out. But my place is here. My home right now is actually the place where I need to learn not to get emotionally involved in attack, to break the action/ reaction chain, and to see that what I am seeing around me affects me due to my own interpretations, not the reality of what is actually out there.
And that has made me committed to staying here, and to be able to leave my home with having worked out the inner wound with my mother: to face up to it, and not to run off and feed it my energy to keep it alive.
