get married and have children

As far back as I can remember, all I have ever wanted was to have a family of my own. I had a plan in mind which didn’t work out. I wanted to marry by the time I was 23, have children by the time I was 25. My plan most centered on the children. I never wanted to be an old woman having babies. By old I mean late 30s, early 40s. I know that’s not old but to me, it’s too old to start a family. I’m already over 30 and just met an amazing man but how do I know that he is the one? Even if he is, I don’t know how long it will take before we get married and how much more time will pass. Or will it ever happen? I don’t know. This is the kind of thing that you can’t make happen. I could force it but then I won’t be happy I will have a broken, disfunctional family. It’s very depressing that I never got the only thing I truly wanted in life and may never get it.

I want to have a happy family that has fun together! I want it to be different than my own growing up.

maybe I need to add a goal that would help expedite this one which is, get unshy and go out and meet girls. the only girls that know me know me from online or from work, and its kind of weird talking to girls @ work to the point where they get more deeply involved in your thoughts, because it’s work, and you don’t want to mess with that.

I think giving and recieving love, and creating a family is the most important thing