Stop letting fear stop me

was Very Brave today. Nothing good comes without risk, right?

I didn’t make it to lunch, but I had a good reason! My legs were hurting so bad I didn’t think I’d be able to drive all the way there and still function later :(.

I didn’t let fear stop me from registering for school! (or even from borrowing money for tuition for both me and my daughter!)

I was invited to lunch in VA on Monday, and my immediate response was yes! Whether anxiety will make me question that later, I have no idea, but it felt good to just accept without running through every possible scenario in my head and hedging my answer.

I found a compromise this weekend. I was feeling hinky about social interaction, but instead of avoiding the party at my house altogether, I sat in the living room with my laptop and vaguely talked with people while I worked on my meal planning project. I had something to hide in, got something useful done, and still interacted with people to some degree. Go me.

I didn’t let fear stop me from:
doing my sleep study
going to court
getting STD testing

still avoiding my car problem, and often avoiding social interaction.

I think fear is interfering with my work.

I was invited to go see a play I’ve been wanting to go see, one of my favorite people on the planet is going to be there too (I haven’t seen her in ages!), and it looks like we can all go out to dinner after with the cast and crew (including several friends I’d love to spend time with). Leaving home, sitting in a small dark theatre, dealing with a big crowd of people…AAAAGH. I AM going to go. Comma dammit.

Fear keeps me from communicating about fear. What’s up with that!? (this goal is an attempt to get past some of that). Sometimes it seems the people I’m closest to are the ones it’s hardest to talk to about how bad the anxiety is and what kinds of things trigger it. Especially when those things are the ones that make me feel stupid/crazy/useless/whatever, or are things that I’m afraid will make those people feel that it is somehow their fault or that I don’t love them or want to do things with them :(.

Fear has been keeping me from getting my car looked at even though I think there’s a problem.

Fear kept me from going to the club and meeting new people.
Fear kept me from inviting one of my favorite people to dinner when she called while I happened to be near her house.