im 15 and weigh like 11 stone at 5ft4 and iv been depressed abut my weight since i was 11 and iv tried every diet you can think of waking up every morning look at my self in the mirrors for hours looking at how dredful i look, why me? why is it not shifting.. soo after trying diets i thought about starvng myself… i now am. i eat 2 appels a day and loads of coffee and water also orange juice when i come home i tell my mum i got something out to eat so she dont bother to make me dinner.. i also hate exercising but now i must do it i do 100 sit ups a day and run up and down the stairs untill i cant breathe! also i go on the dance matt for 4 hours a night and make sure im on a fast level.. im still soo scared of weighing my self but the feeling of my tummy growling for foods makes me happy and makes me knowthat its working! i just really hope i get to 7 from 11stone in a hurry.. so i can start to wear short sleve t-shirts and boys to start noticeing me! 6 years ago
I pretty much stopped eating the day Daniel left. My last night with him was a Thursday night that went on into early Friday morning until about one a.m. Losing him and being so upset and distraught just drug me away from even caring about myself and that included eating. Friday morning, I didn’t go to sleep until three-thirty or close to four o’ clock. I didn’t wake up until one, Friday afternoon. I just lazed around all day until my mother took me to dinner at Red Lobster. I considered that my last big meal, where I would actually eat good wholesome food. The next day was Saturday. I do remember showering and getting dressed before heading off to Target. I was upset still but I wasn’t crying every thirty seconds. I bought some school supplies and decided to skip lunch and head home. I think I ate a small meal that day, but I can’t remember for sure. On Sunday I was busy somewhere outside the house because I remember my dad left and I missed saying goodbye to him, but I can’t remember what I did that day. I know I didn’t eat. On Monday I went out again, to buy some books I think. That was another day without eating, or eating much. On Tuesday I hung out with some of my friends who were leaving for college. We went to Target and after that I ate Panda Express (not much of it, mind you). On Wednesday I did eat again. I had two brownies and one and a half slice of pizza. Thinking back on that day, I thought I had eaten so much. I thought I was a pig. But now I realize I barely ate a handful of food. Thursday, I didn’t eat all day, but around ten in the evening I made myself an egg sandwich, but I only ate about three-fourths of it. On Friday I didn’t eat all day. I made several trips to the kitchen, but never decided on anything to eat. That or I just didn’t want anything that we had. I decided several times that I would go over to Taco Bell or Wendy’s and just grab some food. But that never happened. My mom knows I am not eating. Daniel doesn’t know yet, but he will be so mad when he finds out. He’ll find out somehow because I know I won’t be able to tell him. If he asks be about my eating habits, then I will have to tell him, because I can not lie to him. Because I am not eating, I am not sleeping, or sleeping well. I get a few hours of sleep, maximum. There is a part of me that tells me that there are starving people all over the world and I have the chances to eat and the opportunities to eat, but I just do not have the will or the motivation to eat. There is also a part of me that tells me, “Good, you’re not eating. You’re too fat for that boyfriend of yours. You need to lose more weight. Don’t pick up that brownie, DO NOT go to Taco Bell. You don’t need food.” That part of me scares myself. So then I just drink water to make myself feel full. I need to stop doing this to myself. I have constant headaches that wont go away and I know its because I’m not eating. 6 years ago
My boyfriend recently left for college and he’s going to kill me once he finds out how much weight I lost… 6 years ago
I have a really sad life.
Any way,I’m 14 years old and,when I was 12 and 13 I cut myself and starved myself.
I got to where my bones were showing through my skin.And I wanted to stop.
The reason I started doing that because I thought I was fat and wanted to be skinny.
About half a year from there,I started eating again.Now,I don’t do it anymore.
I still have to make myslef stop cutting myself.
Anyway,now I just wake up in a nightmare.And I wake up really depressed or wake up crying.
And no one even cares… 7 years ago
Im 12 years old and I have this disorder.I never eat.I currently weigh 54 pounds I hate it.I want to be skinner so bad!!! 7 years ago
I stopped starving myself constantly.
It used to be every other week I was fasting.
I don’t want to have to go through treatment and have everybody on my back like they used to be.
But I’m not happy with myself.
I don’t think I’ll ever be happy with myself.
I love the feeling of hunger. I love the feeling of the numbers getting lower on the scale every single day.
Oh, boy …
I’m not fully recovered from my eating disorder [they say nobody ever fully recovers …], but I’m doing a lot better. 7 years ago
I thought I’d write up my first entry for this goal, so I typed the url into the address bar & before the page loaded I absent-mindedly thought how pleased I feel that I discovered a large slice of watermelon has an amazing laxative effect on me plus it doesn’t give me stomach cramps.
I’m on the third day of a fast, so I think that now is not the correct time to write up my entry after all. 7 years ago