My life is getting more chaotic than it already is.
I’m trying to find a new life in New York if my contract with the company will end by mid-July. 7 years ago

Yesterday I got mad at my relatives because they were asking me for financial help since they can no longer cover the tuition fees of their children.
It makes me upset that they make babies as if they were in a piggery and in the end they cannot sustain each child. We were never close before, actually they never paid any attention to me at all although i tried to get closer to them, and all of a sudden they are turning to me for help and I feel like being abused now since it’s hard for me to let their kids down.
I wished I could say no and hide somewhere because I have to attend to my personal obligations as well.
My mood had shifted down as I’ve realized that money is what people are made of. It’s true that if you have no money, there’s no honey.
Another thing that makes me worry is that the guy i’m dating doesn’t seem to be really serious with me.
And the biggest mistake I’ve made is to became attached to him, almost being dependent on him. My whole life is connected to that person..like a piled dominos..if one falls, the rest will fall also… 7 years ago

My brother’s eye surgery had been succesful and he can see again which is a miracle. Today’s mother’s day. As usual we all greeted my mom and bought her gifts beforehand (which was her request!). We might have some nice dinner in downtown later. Again my courtesy.

I’m in a melancholic state again because so many factors had occured lately. I just need to sort out my life and one solution is finding my own apartment as soon as possible and maybe go on vacation after my work project is done. 7 years ago

I am worried lately because my younger brother is going to have his eye surgery on Monday. The doctors have diagnosed his right eye as blind already. I hope and pray that the lens implant will help him see again. 7 years ago

I went panic-buying and bought nice clothes for me and my brother. I was using my credit card. Okay, I’ve been spending alot lately and I have to spend all my salary to pay the incoming bills, but this was a prize for all the overtime and stress I have to endure the past weeks in office.
I bought a green top decorated with a laze and nice beads, a beige coat à la french style, a pair of blue jeans, rubber shoes, an evening dress for the upcoming business dinner, shampoo & conditioner etc.
It felt good to pamper myself with all the new clothes. I just hope I will still feel good about this luxury after seeing my credit card bills… 7 years ago

I went to downtown with my brother to meet my mom in a shopping mall. While my mom went to the ladies room and my brother and I were waiting outside, an older man in a navy blue suit approached me and said ‘Ni Hao’, which is Chinese and means ‘Hello’. The stranger might come from India or somewhere from the Middle East. He looked like a business man, wearing a gold wrist watch and an opulent ring with a dark square stone.
I was quiet surprised but not anxious, there was something in this man which was quiet exciting. And my intuition didn’t prove me wrong.. I told him that I’m Filipino and he murmured something in Visaya, probably he was thinking that I would understand him but realizing my quizzical look, he continued talking in English and told me that he can predict my future.
I thought ‘wow!’ because I always wanted to be approached by someone who would read my palms or show me the cards..but it was quiet odd that not an old woman had approached me, but a guy in a business suit.
The stranger told me that he can read from my face lines, especially from my eyes, that I will be really succesful someday, especially in the month of July. Three ‘lucky’ things will happen in that month. But he also mentioned that thru my eyes he can see that my heart has a big desire and I should look for it because my eyes tell him that I’m always trapped in deep thoughts, which is quiet true if I analyze myself..I’ve been thinking of so many things lately, about my future and my career path..It’s not that I’m a pessimist but I think I have to plan my life now, otherwise it becomes meaningless to me…

When my mom came from the WC, he asked her if she want him to predict her future in exchange for money of course. We thanked him but said no and he left then. I was speechless because it was like an angel talking to me, giving me strength to leave the past behind and strive for a better, happy life for me and my family. 7 years ago

I made the same mistake again and I don’t know where my rationale was. I should have been wiser from my last failure but this time my feeling had overcome me. I’m feeling quiet empty now.. 7 years ago

I’m dating someone who doesn’t seem to be the prospective son-in-law for my parents. I don’t consider myself as his gf anyway because this kind of relationship has no real commitment but is basically based on companionship and ‘closeness’. 7 years ago

He kissed me. it felt so good but guilt came upon me because that kiss should had never happened.. 7 years ago

confused. excited. thrilled. scared. ashamed. guilty. materialistic. adventurous. wrong path? love? lust? age gap. career. employee. happiness? trustworthy. silence. secret. daughter. crush. Ari. July 12. hope. Bi & Mico. Dubai. marriage? emptiness. smile. 7 years ago

My company and I whose office is in Hamburg, Germany, went to Berlin, to a sister company. It had been my first business travel and instead of being excited and enjoy the trip, it almost became a nightmare for me.
First of all, I was the only female group member and all of my colleagues are male and as old as my dad. But before we left Hamburg, my boss had sent me an sms, calling me his darling..my mom who is nosy and loves to read the messages stored in my phone, read the the message, got frantic and called me up almost every hour in Berlin..It was so irritating because it did not only distract me but also my boss. When all of a sudden he asked me if my parents called me up at 2am. I’m not sure but I had a shiver on my spine because I had the feeling that my mom called up in the hotel and got thru my boss’ room to ask probably if I’m lying beside him..And that would be really embarrassing for me. But luckily, he didn’t say anything that would have been my death sentence..Or he didn’t want to make a big issue out of it.. 7 years ago

I won’t resign. Yesterday I’ve been given an offer to be destined in Basel. And perhaps this will also be a good opportunity to go to Saudi Arabia afterwards and see the world. I no longer want to stay with my family in Germany. I’m turning 23 in July and staying with my family is like not being able to grow up. Well, it’s my fault that I’m still being treated like a child. I cannot decide for myself. Do I want to buy some expensive clothes from my own money, I’m still asking myself if my family won’t think the things I bought are unnecessary.
I want to live on my own but it’s hard to do that, especially in Germany. All my friends are actually in the Philippines. Some I met here are out of the country, either studying or having their practicum somewhere else. But I don’t really consider them as friends because we hardly see each other and there’s still this feeling of strangeness or emptiness I feel for them. Unlike my friends in the Philippines. Whenever I meet them my heart is like jumping out of excitement.
I’ve started reading a lot and even been studying complicated languages like Chinese and Arabic. I don’t know why I have this urge of exploring the world. There’s this something or maybe someone who is waiting for me. It really is time to spread my wings and fly… 7 years ago

I went to a nice Pakistani restaurant with my boss and two other colleagues. My boss who is from Pakistan invited as for dinner. It rather was a boys’ night. I felt so out of place since they are so much older than me and also because of my boss’ mentality that women should not talk too much when attending a business meeting. But I enjoyed the food and the cozy place. I kept myself busy with stuffing my mouth with all the spicy dishes which I tasted for the first time. We had spinach with potatoe. Once you ate it you feel as if fire would come out of your ears and nose. It was so hot that I had to order another glass of cola light. The other dish was a long plate with lamb fillet and cooked vegetables. The other one marinated chicken in a red sauce. There were also salad and pan cake-like bread for side dishes.
The name of the restaurant is Balutschi. It means a meeting place… 7 years ago

I don’t know if it’s premenstrual syndrom why I am so hot-tempered and sad today..I feel like resigning from a lucrative job (I work as assistant to the Director of Maintenance of a big airline company) and do something I really want. I’m planning to take my MBA this wintersemester but the problem is my family..I’m sure they will call me insane to give up that job which is hard to obtain. To think that I can tour the world with my discounted tickets..But that doesn’t make me happy. It’s what my family want, not me!
I want to see myself working for an interesting international company, but once I get unemployed and pursue my always-wanted degree, the whole stupid clan think I’m selfish and that I don’t think of my parents.
It’s not that we are poor, but the moron-like mentality of my people expect that the children should attend to their parents needs and (to my regret) to the relatives who need certain ‘help’.
I hate that mentality of these 3rd world people. 7 years ago

I’ve been thinking of finding another job and get more involved into financial management or economic consultancy. Aside from that I also want to pursue a career at the U.N. But I have to go step by step to achieve this dream and at least 5 years of business experience before I can enter such highly regarded non-proft organization.
Anyway, the reason why I titled this page ‘wanderlust’ is that I read an interesting article about Budapest, the capital of Hungary, and I would like to spend my next weekend there. The article says that Budapest used to be two different places, namely Buda and Pest and that they united in the early 18th hundreds. However, the city has so many beautiful mosaic buildings and an 18th century church inside Hilton Hotel. It used to be one of the seats of the Nazi during Hitler’s regime.
Nowadays, Budapest is known for its cheap prices and splendid cafés. 7 years ago

The alarm of my cell rings at 5:15a.m. Still lying in my bed, I yell to the next bedroom and tell my younger brother to wake up and fix himself for the workshop which is specialized for ‘special children’. Then I fall asleep again and an hour later I wake up to the next alarm and go to the bathroom to prepare myself for work which starts at 9 a.m.
I never leave the house without having a complete breakfast which consists of cold-cuts stuffed bread, yoghurt or fruits, gased water and delicious latté macchiato. At 8:00am I leave the house and before I get to the bus station, I stop at the kiosk and buy the papers and the latest issue of one of my favourite ‘beauty bibles’ which I read along the way. In 10 mins comes my bus. After three stops I get out and take the subway which brings me to another bus station from where I get my final bus going to my office.
Under my beige coat which is fitted by a brown belt, I wear a dark business suit that is matched with black moccasins and a black sac hung on my lower left arm. My shoulder length hair is sometimes combed back to a conservative looking pony tail, sometimes it’s just loose. I wear little makeup: bronze lipgloss, rosy blush and swan like eyes applied by an eyeliner.
I consider myself a trendy cosmoplitan but I am not one of those who wears opulent accessories. For me, simplicity is real beauty.
The train ride takes 15mins. Another 10 mins with my last bus.
I punch my card at 9:02 am and curse that I’m 2mins late today. Sitting at my desk, I switch on my pc and check for emails. My boss sent me a mail telling me to print the files and work on them he had forwarded me. We have a meeting with the vice president after lunch.
Prior to the afternoon meeting the phone rings, there is an emergency meeting at the hangar. This means to me and my boss either skip your lunch or eat as quickly as you can in the canteen and hurry back to the office to attend to an important person in the business…
My work is done at 5pm, sometimes at 7pm. If lucky, there’s no evening meetings which takes away my spare and quality time with family and friends. I love hanging out with people I love and care. I sometimes go out with friends to watch movies, eat at fancy restaurants or just sip coffee in a cafe somewhere in downtown after work. It’s getting dark and I need to go home.
Before going to sleep at 11pm, I read a novel or study new chinese or spanish vocab. I always have to drink a big glass of sparkling water before I sleep and never leave a night out without my facial cream. It may sound too vain but I’m not. I’m just taking good care of myself.
Already in bed surrounded by 4 fluffy pillows, I check my cell and read some sms. They invited me for sushi eating, I reply to them and wish a good night. 7 years ago

After I graduated from college last year, with the degree BSC-International Business and Economics, I left my long-term boyfriend of 3 years and immediately opened a new chapter in my life as being a wander girl. There was this urge to focus on my career and go to places I’ve never been and meet many people of different walks of life. Having a boyfriend, who doesn’t share the same conviction with me that life is full of adventure and new learning, who is just contented with a simple life and immediately wants to have kids with me without having any savings or worse of all has no job, would be the greatest mistake in my life if I got stuck with him under the same roof. So right after receiving the diploma, which by the way happened in the Philippines, I took a flight going back to Germany on the same day (actually 5 hrs. after graduation!) where I was born and raised and where my parents and younger brother live.
It was a great relief for me that I left him. There was no way of changing him as he has always been a hard-headed guy, but I had no right to mould him according to my own philosopies and beliefs. Since then, I understood that the proverb ‘Birds of the same feather flock together’ is indeed true and that someone out there in this big world is my real Prince Charming who is also aiming high and shares the same dreams and hopes with me. Only time will tell when I will meet him..

Anyway, I was lucky that I was hired by an airlines one and a half months after my arrival. As assistant to the director I’ve almost made it to the top, and yet there is this strong willingness to learn more and strive harder. I still have no real savings because I always get tempted to buy myself and my family new clothes and gadgets (which is quiet normal during the first year in the first job), but hopefully my shopping spree will end next month as I will set aside 50% of my 4th salary in case of emergency or financing my MBA for this coming winter semester. But I still have plans of going to the UK with my family next week. I wonder if it’s still 50% and not 10% of my salary that I will set aside after or before my flight to London. Let’s see!

So far, I made good investments in a new laptop (on which I’m typing right now) and in taking driving lessons (I just hope I will pass the exam!).
However, being a yuppie is not all about spending a lot and enjoying the self-gained luxury, it’s also about how to spend it wisely without getting into debts. ;) 7 years ago