be joyful

I really want to feel joy in my marriage and confident joy about my mothering skills. I seem to forget that God loves me. Shouldn’t that be the start of a truly joyful life?

We took a small group of high school students to Dublin for the weekend and there were many joyous moments indeed. Then there was the long trek back to Barcelona (involving shuttle bus, flight, bus to another city and BCN metro at midnight) and just 5 hours of sleep before a packed school day and two after-school activities.

You know what they say… After the ecstasy, the laundry.

So this is when it is particularly important to be joyful… when I am tired and cranky and feeling put upon.

Not that I am unhappy or anything, it is just so important to be joyful as much of the time as possible. So, every so often during the day I try to check in to my joy meter.

I found the secret. I have started investing in the joy, not happiness, but joy of others! In turn, I am more joyful!

Ever notice when you look back in life at memories that the horrible ones stand out most clearly and the goodie memories are more vague? It seems that is my mind and spirit’s way of thinking… allowing the yuckies in life to be more clear and controling. Well, now that I know I see and feel things this way, it is time to start concentrating on the joyful things in life and letting them leave a deeper, longer lasting impression. In time I intend to be fully transformed into a lighter hearted person. I will take part in the joy that surrounds me, the joy I am capable of bringing to others, and the joy that yet needs to be birthed!

I AM joyful. It is always there, waiting for me to tap into it. Now, I simply need to nurture those feelings of joyfulness.

For me, Im joyful when I can see that I am truly blessed by God..that He has given me so much in this life! When I dont let obstacles encumber me or ‘block my light’, when I still can laugh at myself and at silly things that happen in the day.
Smiles ppl!

arugh. i woke up all mad. i really feel like my boyfriend doesn’t help enough around the house. and, yesterday, he called after i was in bed on his way home from work to see if i would do the dishes. i think he had done a load that day (after my 4 loads on the weekend!).

i don’t mind doing extra, but it lights me up like a christmas tree when he makes a big deal about carrying his 30% and then suggests that i am not keeping up. yarugh.

i went to sleep mad, and voila! i woke up mad.

i really think that there’s deeper issues with our relationship. not sure how to maturely deal with it. i could split – i’m very unhappy. i could yell. that would be my child-hood example. i could get all passive agressive and take it all out on the chores situation.

i feel truly insluted when someone lists the number on thing that they love about you and the realtionship is ‘how you love them’ – what does that mean?

i truly think he ‘picked me’ because i do love him so much and i do so much for him.

he does not return the efforts that i put into making his life better, that i think everyone needs in a good romantic relationship. maybe he does, in his own way. but, i don’t see it.

i think i’m being taken advantage of. actaully, i don’t know for sure that he doesn’t love me, very possible that he adores me but also just has always been in a pattern of taking and not giving.

i told him we need to talk soon. so, i’m thinking of constructive ways to bring this issue out to the open and deal with it.

as for the ‘joy’ thing, i think this is one of those days where i need to tell myself that there’s no rush. i have all the time and resources in the world. take things slow. there are a lot of things to be grateful for.

my house is beautiful

my family is doing well

i have friends i enjoy

my financial situation is good

i am growing and learning about myself

i am healthy

i have ways to deal with anger

my life has good spots

i’ve made spiritual and emotional progress

i am capable

i have the capacity for joy

i am feeling my feelings, that has to be progress!

the negavity that was is not what is fated to be

what i believe is what i will be

i don’t need to eat over it (even though i’m learning this… thankful that it’s true)

the boyfriend/dishes thing is just one part of my life, and it will improve or resolve

16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I desire to live my life with joy. “The only thing I have to be joyful about is that Jesus is Lord of my life.”