be more confrontational

I totally called out my friend the other day when she was being ridiculous. and by called out i mean i went to her room, asked to speak to her and told her how i felt about how she was acting and even though she totally closed down and wouldn’t talk about it i felt better because she knew how it affected me. :)

My new friends have recently pointed out to me that whenever I am drunk I become much more confrontational. I will bring up something from earlier that day or days past that I didn’t like and say very nonchalantly, “yeah you were kinda a bitch when…”

I want to be able to tell them WHEN it happens, not need my liquid courage to do it.

I did actually quit softball which was necessary due to no playing time…ever. So, that’s one small step. I didn’t just take all that any more, but I actually told the coach how I felt and ended it. :) And ever since I have been much happier. And I’ve been saying more thing when I want to. Like, less holding it in. Maybe I’m almost there. Almost more confrontational.

I guess I’m working on this. I just don’t like to create conflicts nor do I like being in them. I feel very sad and guilty when I upset anyone, even people I don’t like or don’t know. When in most situations I just accept things and don’t show that I care. I do nothing when I’m upset. I just let it go. This is quite frustrating.