Have a closer walk with Christ

At least it shouldn’t be, to a christian. The bible says the just shall live by faith. the just are those who are redeemed, in essence, christians.

Further faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. That’s how I’m supposed to live.

There are times that I am like the children of israel, looking at the circumstance (the reality) and wanting to go back to Egypt. I look at the situation, the bills that are due, not having the extra spending money that I’d like, or simply having to wait to make purchases I would normally have been able to buy on impulse.

That is when I get distracted from my studies. That is when I start submitting my resume. That is when I go into this cycle of frustration becsuse no one will hire me. I KNOW that God’s will is for me to finish school and go to law school. I am not going to get a job until He is ready for me to. I earnestly prayed for God to open and close the necessary doors for His will to be done in my life. I trust that He is honoring my prayer. I know further that the manna that takes care of us, takes very good care of us. I have to learn to stop being greedy and wanting seconds, with an impatience that will not allow me to have patience. I realize that I am supposed to rejoice when I fall into diverse temptations; “count it all joy”. Of course that is easier said than done. That is my cross. It’s time for me to re-read the book of James.

I am having a hard time reconciling with the fact that all things are working together for the good of those that love God and are called according to His purpose.

My 15 year old is making some very bad, very grown up decisions, for which there are very grown up consequnces. I’ve got a thousand and two questions running through my head….What did I do? What didn’t I do? Did I, in trying to protect him, buffer his perception of reality? Is he on drugs? Why Lord??? WHY is my baby deciding to follow his friends instead of his family? Doesn’t he know that I know what’s best for him??? My heart is split in two. I can’t stop crying. I know I’ve gotta be stronger than this, but knowing aint doing. Do I call the police? He hasn’t been home in two days, and he called last night to say he needs a “couple of weeks”. What the HELL is he thinking??? I don’t want to see him on the news! I need prayer. I need strength. I need to go back in time and have a do-over to try to fix whatever’s broken in my child’s heart or head. Okay. First things first. I think I WILL call the police, make te report, and PRAY. HARD.

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands One who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me this I read
And in my heart I find a need
For Him to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, my Savior lives
My Savior’s always there for me
My God He was, my God He is
My God He’s always gonna be

Yes, living, dying let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on High
And come for sinful men to die
You count it strange so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior’s always there for me
My God He was, My God He is, My God He’s always gonna be (x6)

My Savior lives, My Savior loves
My Savior lives, My Savior loves

Father, I lay this day in your hands. you know what is in my heart and what I wish for, but I pray that your will be done. Amen

‘Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward’ -gen. 15:1

my mac freaked out and changed the song I was listening to.. this was the one it played instead:

You don’t have to worry
And don’t you be afraid
Joy comes in the morning
Troubles they don’t last always
For there’s a friend named Jesus
Who will wipe your tears away
And if your heart is broken
Just lift your hands and say

Oh
I know that I can make it
I know that I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

With Jesus I can take it
With Him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

So when your tests and trials
They seem to get you down
And all your friends and loved ones
Are nowhere to be found
Remember there’s a friend named Jesus
Who will wipe your tears away
And if you heart is broken
Just lift your hands and say

Oh
I know that I can make it
I know that I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

With Jesus I can take it
With Him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

I think this is an answer to my prayer, I have never had a answer this instant, but on the other hand I’m really open to it..
maybe I’m just reading too much into it???
what do you guys think?

Lord, take my life and my boyfriends life into your hands and keep us safe from harm. You know taht he is struggeling due to the finansive crisis. There is no job to get on the island and now the firm forced him to take a week off. please make him feel safe and let him understand that you have a plan for him. He might be forced to leave the island, and if this is your plan Father, then let us see it soon. He is really struggeling with this and it hurts me to see him like this. but I know that we cannot change whatever is going to happen, so I give my life ande his life to you and wait for some kind of answer. You have guided me so many times before and answered my prayers so, so many times before, so now I come to you in times of worry and ask you to hold us close and let you love surround us. Amen

This is my desire: to honor You.
Lord with all my heart I worship You.
All I have within me, I give You praise.
All that I adore is in You.
Lord I give You my heart,
I give You my soul, I live for You alone.
Every breath that I take,
Every moment I’m awake,
Lord have Your way in me.

Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold

Refiner’s fire
My heart’s one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You, my Master
Ready to do Your will

Purify my heart
Cleanse me from within
And make me holy
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from my sin
Deep within

spend half an hour in bed praising the Lord, thanking him for all the wonderfull things in my life and asking him for strength to get a lot of studying done today even though my boyfriend is here…