Stop being so jealous and insecure

Im think of giving up on my relationship.. It hurts me to think of it because I love him so much and cannot see myself with anyone else but I cant stand how insecure and jealous I am feeling.. He has SO many girl mates and for summer I am going to back to my home town in Aussie and he is staying in NZ and going back to his home town and I was fine with that but already he has all his girlmates writing to him saying they are so excited to see him and one of the girls he is seeing kissed him when he was with his ex.. So it is ovious she dosnt care that he has a girl friend.. And she is writing to him calling him her beautiful darling etc.. Ahh this must sound so lame but I am feeling so paranoid and hurt.. I feel sick in my stomach I have been hurt before and am so scared that he will hurt me, he has told me I just need to trust him and that he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me because he dosnt want to lose me but.. I cant get rid of this feeling its horrible and he has told me I am just going to push him away if I keep getting all paranoid and obsessive the way I am.. I never use to be like this but now I have lost who I am and feel like I have to check up on him and catch him out.. I know last time he went home he was calling this girl when he was drunk.. Ahh I don’t know how to feel better.. This is shit :( 4 years ago