be more zen

I was preparing dinner and was peeling carrots and chopping all my veg. I found it very zen – I could actually imagine doing food preparation as meditation.

I felt really calm and good. Life was making sense. (Almost) nothing could touch me.

But then my sister came back from holiday and I feel extremely un-Zen-like! We have a tricky relationship and I am finding it really hard to think and behave with compassion and calmness towards her.

I feel she just doesn’t understand me, makes assumptions about me, my motives, my thoughts and is very judgemental. I’ve been doing so well on my Buddhist path and I know that I have an opportunity to learn and practise compassion – but I’m so not there yet! I feel tearful and resentful after just about every interaction we have.

The thing is, I know she means no harm and she loves me. I’m going to take that as my starting point.

that I’m trying to practice zen meditation!

One thing that just hit me that I want to stop acquiring more “stuff”. It makes me feel bogged down and very un-Zen-like! And I really don’t need any more things.

patience…

As in the title, I am effectively more zen. I’m no master.

I’ve been working at this consistently for about seven months. I employ zazen practices whenever I can, hate less, and just remain calm and rational in general.

I can sum it up: zen ftw.

I have been doing so badly at this. I need to find a peace if I am going to be able to slow down and enjoy all of this. Life is moving so fast right now, and while I am enjoying it os much, I’d like to be able to enjoy it a little bit longer, and not feel liek a week is 10 minutes long. I’m pretty sure that a time of meditation is one thing that would help very much

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”
Aristotle

I need to meditate. Regularly. Meaning more than once every month or so. There’s a zendo a few towns away. I went there once. Perhaps it’s time to go back.

Seriously, I would be one of the “complainers” if I didn’t remind myself every day that I have this goal in place.

I am a waitress. Every time a customer bitches or tips badly in spite of good service, I get all pent up, but then I think of 43T and I try very hard to adopt the attitude.

It really makes a difference! Not that I do it intstantly, I do complain, but I am getting better.

Today I heard someone speak about living in the moment. You have no past no future, just what is in this moment.
I realize that you can’t do this completely, I mean you need RRSPs and such, but for smaller things, like seeing a butterfly, eating a meal with friends, reading your favourite book, doing yoga, etc. I’m going to work on focusing on the present in these situations, instead of missing the moment by worrying about what happened or what is to come.