Share more thoughts with hubby

... DH asks me if I’m happy in Melbourne. We moved here a few months ago. He has seemed very happy, and I didn’t realise until last night that it’s not completely rosy. He asked me who I had lunch with most days. I don’t. Most days I sit at my desk (which is pathetic, I know). He goes out with a group from his new work, but there is nobody in the group that he particularly likes. He has really good friends back in Canberra that he misses terribly. I’ve always been a bit of an introvert, so it doesn’t worry me too much if I don’t talk to anyone all day (other than chat by email with friends I’ve had for decades – does that count?).
I don’t think we’re going to rush back to Canberra, but I guess we need to make some friends here. His work is full of ‘suits’ who go clubbing, and we are more the hiking/skiing/cycling type. Not quite tree-huggers, but we do like dirt and trees and open sky and a good bottle of wine in front of a camp fire. I guess I could encourage him to join a mountain-biking group, but that used to terrify me because he always came home with injuries. I’m not quite sure what to do, or even if it is up to me to do anything.

We’re all pretty busy. It’s no excuse, but it’s just not possible to find time for everything. I feel bad enough about leaving our daughter in childcare all day, so by the time we get home, I want to read her as many stories as she wants, have tea parties, chat about her friends and her day. So then I’m left trying to fit the washing-up, the washing, the daily mess-containment into the evening after she has gone to bed. It doesn’t leave much couple time.
I make it sound like we have a terrible relationship, if we can’t even manage fifteen minutes alone, but it’s not bad at all. We almost always have dinner at the table. It’s just that our duaghter kind of dominates the conversation and we don’t get much chance to talk to each other.
The first winter we met, we went skiing about once a week, three hours there and three hours back, so we talked and talked and talked. I miss that.
I put this goal on my list over a year ago, and didn’t write anything about it. It’s time I thought of a few concrete things I’m going to do about it. So the sub-goal for the next week is to spend at least fifteen minutes together each day, no kids, no TV, not while vacuuming. And my strategy will be to go to bed at the same time he does. (He leaves for work at six, so he often goes to bed before me.) It doesn’t sound hard at all, but we’ll see.

Sharing more thoughts with hubby led to a few more disagreements I found :) But at the same time is bringing us closer.

Lately, my husband and I have shared deeper thoughts, hopes and dreams with each other. It really pulls a marriage relationship closer. :)