find a new apartment

Several things. First, got a reject message from the house share I investigated earlier in the week. While that sucked just a bit, it was also OK. I was pretty sure it was not the best fit anyhow, and it’s kind of nice to cross another option off my list.

I talked a lot about my situation today, first to my boss (hey, he asked me!), and then to my parents. It was kind of a relief, as I’ve had this matter roiling around in my own head for about 1 week straight. No offense to you lovely 43Thingers, but sometimes it’s extra helpful to vent out loud. :)

It was nice of my boss to listen to me and to appreciate the fact that so much in my life is up in the air right now. And it was SO HELPFUL to run my thinking by my mom and have her affirm that what I want to do makes sense.

So. I’m pretty sure I’m going to rent the nicer but more expensive apartment that I saw today. It’s only about $30 more expensive than the first studio I looked at, but much cleaner, nicer, and with much more storage space. The truth is, I am probably going to be hanging out at home a lot no matter which one-bedroom I rent…partly because that’s what I do, partly because hey, I’m too poor to entertain myself elsewhere. It is worth it to me to pay extra in order to be someplace I actually like going home to.

I love that my mom did not make me ask them for money, but offered to help me out with a loan first. I have already planned $50 monthly payments into my monthly budget. They have loaned me…not tons, but plenty…of money over the years, as well as helping with my education. I really think that I need to be financially responsible with this loan and make a plan to pay it back promptly.

Once I have put down the deposit on the place, I will feel a lot better I think. Sure, I’ll still be stressed about the money for the next month (until I make October rent), but at least I be assured of where I will go next.

Now I don’t know WHAT to do.

I went to go look at the other complex apartment this morning – the one that is a bit more than I want to pay (but just within what I can afford). Ummm…you get what you pay for. Much smaller (in terms of the complex; the apartment itself was bigger). A patio/balcony. Tons and tons of storage space. 95% grad students (so…very quiet). Much nicer overall (tidy, well-lit parking; actual landscaping).

Then I walked over to the other complex to drop off my rental application, and was struck by the difference. When I entered the office, a tenant was complaining about a problem. There were tons of kids running around outside. And I was struck by how much less homey the place seemed in general.

I realized that either way, I’m gonna be stuck with a 1 year lease. The second complex makes more sense given my current budget. However, what if I get a better job (and I’m planning to, I need to, within three months, even if it’s not in a library)? Then I’ll be stuck someplace not as nice when I can definitely afford better.

I really need to think hard about what I’m going to do.

This apartment was in a complex. I have done the complex thing before, it’s not too bad.

I was not able to see the exact apartment I would be renting (as it is occupied). I did get to see a very similar one though, as the rental office is located in a one-bedroom unit.

Here are the pluses (that I see):
- heat, hot water, cooking gas all included (a really good thing, as I like to cook a lot and enjoy a hot shower)
- fair amount of windows, and they have wide sills (good for my cats to sit on)
- bathtub! Yay!
- actually fairly spacious. More space than the place I looked at yesterday, for less money.
- because of the timing, I might be able to pay rent+deposit without any help from my folks! (a big deal)

Minuses:
- it’s a complex, and there’s only one person managing it (although they do have 24-maintenance). This is a mixed bag. On the one hand, it could be difficult to have problems solved or deal with loud neighbors. On the other…it means that my landlord would not be in my hair to any degree.
- not very much character; the apartments are pretty ‘blah’. No hardwood floors, for instance.
- it’s between 1 and 2 miles from my jobs. This is both a minus and a plus. Although it is farther away than I’d like, it’s close to several buslines and bike routes. And it’s not an impossible distance at all – compared to most folks’ commute, it’s nothing.

In fact, I walked there this morning from my current place. A pleasant walk on residential streets. And I feel great!

Hmmm. According to Google maps, if I walk from there to my first job, from my first job to my second, and then back home to this particular apartment, I’ll be walking 6.5 miles a day. That does sound like a lot, especially in inclement weather. However 1) it’s an eminently bikable distance 2) it’s not a huge distance at any one time 3) the bus is a great possibility for crappy weather days (as is my car as a last resort) and 4) dang it, my racewalking granpa used to do just about that much daily, and in his 70’s! And I do need some way to get my cardio exercise now that I don’t have access to a gym, as well as an excuse to get outside in the morning and during the day.

Maybe a bit inconvenient, but people all over the world walk that far all the time out of necessity. I sort of think it would be good for me. I’d need some better raingear, that’s all.

ETA: I am set to look at yet one more place in another complex tomorrow. It is slightly more (more than I’d want to pay), but I figure that I will visit just for the purposes of comparison. I have not been in many complexes in this area, and I’d like to know if the one I’m gravitating towards is the norm, or if I can do a lot better.

The first one: no, no, no. Neighborhood is skeezy. Zero closet space. No utilities included. Yes, lovely high ceilings and a nicely tiled bathroom, but all I could think was ‘heating bills, oh my god, heating bills’. No thank you.

The second one: Em…not TOTALLY skeezy but a little worse for the wear. Utilities included, along with some furniture. A bit more space than I expected. But. Pricier than it needs to be, I think. I also sort of felt like the guy was trying to give me the hard sell. The basement laundry room was totally scuzzy and a little scary.

I am going to look at a couple of other places that are slightly cheaper tomorrow. One needs to be rented immediately, one will probably be available in October.

I am still leaning pretty heavily toward the October one. I do really want to move out soon, but I would much prefer to be able to 1) take my time and 2) pay for most of the deposit and rent myself.

I think I will still need $$$ help from my parents, but I haven’t even broached the subject with them yet. I need to do so this weekend.

...I was up for quite awhile crunching numbers, and then just fretting over numbers.

I am going to look at two places today – one probably out of my price range, one just within it (but it sounds too small). I figure I will look at them anyway, just to have something to do and to nail down what I can live with and what I can’t.

I also got a line on another apt. which is sort of far from my jobs (but could be worse), but closer to grocery stores (good) and actually relatively affordable (heat included, that’s a big deal here). That one won’t be open until October, but if my roommate is OK with that (and it’s not a hole), I will consider it.

It was actually pretty great. I’d be living with two guys (not necessarily a problem; they seem really together and just about my speed socially [D&D players!]). It’s a real HOUSE that’s been very well taken care of; beautiful, beautiful oak woodwork, newly refinished floors, nicely painted, garden out back and in front! Nice front porch, on-street parking but on a quiet street. The room I’d be staying in has nice windows and not a huge closet, but a bigger/more functional closet than I have now.

There are really only 2 wrinkles that I see:

1. They already have a cat. She is a sweetheart. They are willing to see if she and my two feline roommates can be integrated. I need to discuss the cats’ custody with my roommate. It’s possible that she’ll be moving too a year from now. Maybe she’d be willing to take them? Give me full custody in a year? Allow me visitation?

In a way I really feel guilty about moving the cats into another place with another cat if I don’t absolutely HAVE to.

What do you guys think? Is it fair to them to move them there, and then possibly move them back if they can’t get along?

2. The guys I talked to tonight might pick somebody else to be their roommate. Would kinda suck, given how cool their house is. But if they find somebody that would work with ‘em better, I guess I wouldn’t mind.

Anyhow. I’m going to try to investigate a couple of other options before the weekend. They told me they would let me know by then.

Sigh.

I have two appointments to look at places tomorrow. One, eh, I’m not sure about. The price is right, the location is a bit wrong.

The other (the cat-friendly house) is pretty exciting. I walked by there today (it’s right in the neighborhood), and they have a front porch and a peace flag flying out in front. It’s a very neat and tidy-looking little house.

Wow. That would just be so, so great. Here’s hoping that my possibly-future roommates are as cool as the outside of their house looks.

Well, found an ad today for a place (granted, with roommates) that might very well be a possibility. It is right in this same neighborhood (great) and cat- and eco-friendly. More than I am paying now, but for the neighborhood it’s reasonable. Am gonna make an appointment to look at this week.

I realized today that I think I really do need to fish or cut bait on the subject of whether I’m staying here for the next year or so, or not. As it is…I think that I’ve got to. Honestly, I am not able to afford a cross-country move at this juncture, even if the job is great. I will probably need to ask my folks for help with the security deposit for my new place. I would definitely need a better vehicle, something that is not in the cards at the moment given the fact that I can barely afford to move house within the same neighborhood.

Plus…I have grown to like this town, and this neighborhood. I feel at home here, to some extent. And staying for a year (or even a few years, if I get a job I want to keep) does not preclude me from 1. visiting friends in Colorado more frequently or 2. eventually moving back there if I still want to.

Anyhow. I realized while writing this entry WHY I was so emotional when my roommate brought this subject up. It’s not just the financial stressors. Actually making decisions that may affect the entire direction of my life…well, it scares me to death. This is one such decision. I mean, now I have to nail things down a bit instead of just remaining non-committal. It needs to be done, it just scares me for some reason. I think because I fear making the wrong decision. What I have to remember is that there aren’t really any truly awful decisions (I mean, apart from driving drunk or staying in an abusive relationship or similar mistakes). They all work together to make up a life.

So, I think I have made the decision to stay here in Syracuse, at least for now. If I haven’t found a library job in 6 months, I’ll rethink things. Hopefully I can save some $$ until then.

The lease thing is the only sticking point. So far I have only found one place that fits all of my needs perfectly, at least on paper(affordable, month-to-month, will allow cats, semi-close to my current neighborhood). I will call about looking at it on Monday; it needn’t be too fabulous for me to consider it (I have lived in some pretty sketchy places in the past).

In some ways I am tempted to find a place with a year lease, because I hate the idea of moving AGAIN. However, my eventual monthly income is still not a certainty, and it would suck to be stuck with a year-long lease to someplace sketchy-but-affordable if I can afford more…

Then again…saving money is not a bad thing.

BAH. I really wish I was not having to figure out job and living arrangements at the same time. Oh well.

As I said before, I do want to be out sooner rather than later; but I also need to be wise about this next move and not just move out quickly because of my immediate discomfort.

Thankfully I do not have to be out at a specific time, but for my own feelings/sanity, I would like to be out sooner rather than later.

It’s kind of a shame. I feel I have put up with a lot here, but it was OK with me because I thought our relationship was good. Now I question that a bit. Then again…she could have been much more harsh and demanding about the whole situation. Hell, in her situation, maybe I myself would have been meaner.

Sigh. Anyhow.

I am open to living with a new housemate, but I’m reluctant to go that route for several reasons. 1. I might be moving out of state sooner rather than later – would not want to sign a year-long lease and 2. I am taking the cats with me. So far most roommate ads that mention cats either have several of their own already or are anti-cat.

Plus…it would be lovely to live by myself for a bit, even if it costs me more. I would love to be able to get up early and turn on NPR while eating breakfast, for example, without worrying about whether the other person is awake.