stop depending on others for my happiness

I’m doing this by working on the other “43” things on my list. I’m learning a new language (registered for a french course) and I’m also going to follow a course to learn Adobe illustrator. I picked up a hobby this week (thai-boxing) because I needed one and it had to be something active. I’m already happy by just taking these (little) steps. Also by being more active in life (the courses and the hobby) I’ll meet a lot more new people, which is also one of the point on my list. :)

Still working on this but have gotten much better. As soon as i let go and let god…my world started to change. I have gotten to know myself better but still miss my husband…but it’s getting better

Today I had an awful day at work, came home and didn’t want to discuss it with my parents- they never understand anything I go through so why should I bother telling them my business? They always antagonise me when I do anyway.

If I could’ve come home and had someone’s listening ear I would have at least felt some consolation and less vulnerable. Yet because I didn’t some six hours after work Im still feeling these same negative emotions. I just feel like nobody cares.

I want to be responsible for my own happiness but on a day like this I just need someone to listen to me and empathise with my situation.

I just want to come home and have somebody who cares waiting for me.

hmmm i recon that by depending on others to make you happy is bull crap… no ones going to be in your life all the time or forever but you are untill u die so it makes great sence that it is you that primarily keeps you happy and at the verry least not make you unhappy coz i think thats my problem i think its not trying not to depend on others to make me happy but trying not to make my self unhappy by constantly cotastrfyingh (soz bout the spellin) and thinking bad thoughts about my self!!

My happiness is nothing but a pleasant emotion when “I” am happy, therefore, I want to stop depending on others to experience that emotion.

This goal would be so much easier if i got the things I wanted like a job that I enjoyed and having nice caring people around me. Real Friends. I know that my happiness does ultimately depend on me but life makes it difficult when that job, holiday, opportunity etc. you so badly wanted doesnt come your way. Then you cling on to that one person whose presence seems to make everything else thats gone wrong alright. I want to be able to do that for myself.

You have to be so strong and resilient to achieve this goal, which I am but have taken a battering lately emotionally. At times in my life I have found glimpses of happiness from creating my own happiness but it has always been momentary and brief.

But I really have to make it on my own and fight through the pain that I feel rather than picking up the phone to ring that ONE person otherwise I will never find true happiness within myself.

I’ve started doing a lot more things that I have wanted to do but I would have been afraid of doing in the past because I didn’t have friends who would do it with me or maybe I couldn’t do what I wanted to do with the friends I would have most preferred to be with. I have been trying to do things and have fun for myself and not let my good times depend so much on who I’m with.

this is the problem of my life..
i depend on others to feel good.
need that support…well of course, everybody needs a little of support, but we don’t have to DEPEND on other people, we have to DEPEND on ourselves…
so i think if i stop doing this i will be better :D
more confidence, more self esteem!

I had a long conversation yesterday with someoe I care about very much. It was a person who I thought I might not have any kind of relationship with anymore. It made me SOOOOOOO happy. The conversation was wonderful. We talked about some really profound things. I scares me to death how much power this person has over me, how I am insantly propelled to happiness when we talk. Because…..the flip side of this is that when things are not going well between us I am plummeted into sadness. I HATE it. It scares me so much that my state of happines can so easily change depending on the actions of another person.

as it is their opinions. I’m too desperate for approval. I want to stop letting other people’s opinions destroy my happiness. I’m fiercely independent in most ways, but if someone disapproves of me it sends me into a downward spiral, and that’s so unhealthy.