i want to fall in love with someone who loves me as much as i love them!

I want to be engulfed in love. I want to be the cheese in someone’s macaroni. When we are apart, I want friends and acquaintances to comment on how content and happy I’ve appeared lately. When we are to together, I want simple things to bring us closer. I want us to giggle and cuddle and always feel happy, always feel happy, never feel crappy. I want to possess a heart.

I’m tired of being approached in a vulgar fashion. All this “Hey baby girl…”, lame pick up lines and/or MySpace creepers are botching my belief of this ever being a actuality.

My friend always persists that I should give one these boys a chance and to stop shutting them down instantly. But how can I have growing relationship with someone whose firsts words to me were “Ay baby girl, you done drop sum’ ting… my number.” True Story, a guy approached me like that. All because I’m a black girl, well at least partly, doesn’t mean I want to be approached like that. Hell, I doubt many other black girls want to either. Stereotypes are lame. Whatever. ::Sigh::


I just want to fall in love with someone who loves me as much as I love them!

^{but i’ve still not seem him .}

i miss him .

^{ha !
i didn’t screw up !
god there are no words to describe how i felt when j texted me last night . just casually asking how i was !
i ..
i was amazed ! exited ! relieved !
so we’re okay !
and i’m starting to think that if he stuck around through that then perhaps he really does care !
maybe even love me ?
:D
i’m just sooo happy i didn’t totally ruin it ! (:}

I’ve never fell in love with a guy that have loved me back…or…I’ve only loved one guy, and I still love him, more than you could ever imagine, but he don’t know. I don’t dare to say a word. Well, then I can’t know if he loves me back, but I’ve loved this guy for about three years now, and the only one who know is me and my brother, who – by the way – is his best friend, and in those three damn years he haven’t showed any signs or done anything that have made me think that he’s got the same feelings for me as I have for him. I want to just let it go, forget it all, but it won’t disappear just like that, I know it won’t, and every time he shows up he keeps reminding about how much I love him. I’ve have even cried for him, even though I don’t know why.

I thought my man loved me as much or even more then i loved him at one point. I have learned a lot since then. I hope we can work things out but if not….i will never put a loving relationship on “auto pilot”...it takes a lot of work and attention. I will also look for a different type of partner. one that knows how to communicate or at least have the desire to learn how. and stop blaming someone else for troubles in thier life.

This is another thing I want to do before I die.

FORGIVENESS OFFERS EVERYTHING I WANT!

^{so we had spent the whole of yesturday texting .
then late last night / very early thismorning we had this massive argument .
i felt so bad afterwards cause i knew i had just over reacted !
i really regreted it afterwards and sent him a text telling him i was really really sorry .
and well hes not texted back .
i’ve really screwed it up !
he was only trying to help in the first place !
and ..
i don’t know what to do now !
this is over for sure .
i’m really dreding him dumping me .
i reeeally like him .
god i’ve screwed up and theres nothing i can say !
i love him !
can anyone pleeease help ?!}

16 . 07 . 08 .

^{i really miss him . jordann i mean . i’ve not seen him in like three weeks .
hes just stopped coming out with us really .
i want to hear his voice so bad .
i want to phone him but what would i say .
i want him to know how i feel .
but i’m scared he doesn’t feel the same .
and i don’t want to be hurt again .
sigh
i don’t know what to do .
i really do think i love him .}

i miss his hugs .
his smell .
his voice .
his smile .
his hair .
his jumper .
just everything really !

After the most beautiful two days I think I found the love of my life!