trust more

I trusted him and it didn’t happen.

But here’s the thing…
I’m still okay. He’s okay.
So what harm is done? Do I judge?

I think I have an issue with opening up completely to people too. So few people truly know me. Most people just know what I let them know. Is this normal? Does everyone have a certain level of reserve? I feel like I hold a lot more back than everyone else does.

I’ve changed a major life decisson for him.
I’m trusting him not to break my heart.
:/

I’m scared.

‘because the last relationship fucked her up.’

Lately i have been having a trust issue with my girl, and i just hope i can get over this and move on. There is more important thangs than worrying about if she is still being faithful, and i know in my heart she would never do enythang like that, i just cant see her cheating on me or leaving me for someone else. She is just not that kinda of person, its just when im not with her my mind begins to race and all these thoughts and images comes up. And i know its just me, i need to let this stuff go and just be happy that we are still together, i dont wont to push her away. Cause know im not so much worried about her cheating rather than her leaving me cause i am so jealous and suspicious. But im learning to drop that and let time do its healing, being with her is far more better than worrying about her. I need to be that man she needs, and give a little bit more trust. She trust me and iv done far worst stuff than she has ever done me.

I used to trust others way too easily and got burned for it. Now I am trying to trust myself and my judgement which is a real challenge for me. It is even harder to trust others with my real self because I am afraid of being let down and hurt yet again.

i’ve learned no matter what, people are people and they will fail. learning to trust again is a very hard thing to do.. nearly impossible. i quit.

I’m not sure what the point of this goal is going to be if trusting never amounts to anything. I’m extremely close to giving up on this. Everytime I try, someone abandons me, walks all over me.

It’s really scary. Especially since I’m not used to trusting anyone at all. But this guy, he deserves it. So I will continue to push myself.

I think I’ll check this goal as completed soon, but not quite yet. I don’t just want to trust; I want it to be easy. (Or at least easier than it is now.)

Its hard to put myself out there in a relationship fully. Its hard to let down my guard. I never allow myself to get hurt, but also I never allow myself to really feel great about a relationship. I want that amazing feeling when you fully trust someones love.

maybe later. it’s just not in the cards right now.