go to the doctors

The tension the orkward silences the names being called the kids screaming their heads off in the play area then my foot starts to shake i try to control it but i can help it i just kept repeating in my head your in a good place their here to help… after 40 mins of waiting the dreaded moment came i stood up and repeated in my head over and over again room 16 not 17 not 15 but 16 room 16 i walked through the first door then through the second then the third, why were there so many doors was this a way to slow me down whilst trying to escape or something, then i reached the room number 16 numbers carved into a metal plate on the clean wooden door, i wasnt sure whether to knock or just walk in so i knocked every tap ecoed for what seemed like forever,knock knock knock, then i opened the door to face a bald man quite young “sorry for the wait” i nodded ad sat down my legs started to turn to jelly what was i thinking, i tried not to think just answer the questions…

Ive been meaning to go to the ddoctors for ages now but i just hate hospitals and i know its a stupid excuse for not going. You have to wait for ages and i’d need xrays and someone would have to come with me. I will go sometimes soon but guess im scared of the results i don’t want to find out that i need an operation or something, sometimes it seems easier just to put it off. i will be going soon.
i will post a coment when ive been and say what the results are.

Got to go back fri for test results.

Well the update is that nothing was wrong and it was all just regular pregnancy stuff.

I was back at the doctor’s haha! My doctor must have seen me more this past year or so than he ever has, funny really…
This time I was discussing my recent visit to my specialist and basically said I couldn’t afford to have any more tests, which is quite upsetting really as I was starting to glimpse a bit of hope, but the future doesn’t look so bright now ;( I mentioned beta-blockers and he said I have to have a written letter by my specialist to say I can take them, but he wanted me to do the tests first! It seemed like another bloody doctor visit wasted, but I wrote to the specialist about the medication etc so I’m just waiting for a reply and we will see…

Went today to get my Centrelink certificate for time off work. Got a month. That’s not too bad.

I’m going to the doctors tomorrow. I’ve been putting it off for a while now. I have always been scared of doctors, but my fear is full blown since my mother’s stroke a couple of years ago and the time I spent in the hospital with her. now I NEED to go to have my forms filled out so I can accomplish my other goal of finishing my graduate school application. ugh. at least it’s just a very basic physical…. baby steps.

Well my question didn’t get answered, but no news is good news.

Im going on Wednesday.

I know I need to go. I just don’t want to go…. I know something is up, I just don’t want to hear it is something seriously bad.

I finally made an appointment and followed through. I think my problem is procrastinating with everything. After I start a task, I usually finish it.

Going to the doctor isn’t something I relish doing, though. But once I finally make an appointment, I find out I’m happier that I did it than waiting, thinking a problem will “go away.”