reconnect with my cousins

I have email addresses for a few of my cousins who live in Southern Utah and Las Vegas. I figure that they may want to drop in at the Cousins Dinner in May if they happen to be nearby at the time.

Two of them wrote back and said that they had prior commitments for that day, but would like to come otherwise.

One of them said that she would forward the invitation along to all of her siblings. Good thing too. I don’t know any of their email addresses.

The other cousin said that they would be in Connecticutt that day at a show. She said that she and her husband jump out of airplanes together with a big American flag. She sent me a picture. It was pretty impressive.

Last November we had our first Cousin Dinner. My Cousin J sent out an email last week saying that she has arranged for another one in May. One of our cousins, D, is planning to come down from the state of Washington just for the occasion.

Maybe each of the cousins could take a turn in planning this. Wouldn’t that be great?

Now I need to invite the other cousins from down south to come too.

A week or two after the big cousins dinner, Cousin J sent an email out to all of us. It said that Cousin D, who lives in the Tri-Cities area in Washington, was going to be passing through the area and was staying with Cousin J’s parents for a few nights. She invited all of us to stop by and see her.

I hadn’t seen Cousin D in years. Mrs. viii liked the idea of going down to visit her. I called my aunt and told her that we wanted to take up the offer to come and visit. We brought R9 with us and drove the 80 miles to my aunt’s house.

It was great to see my Cousin D again. It had been a long time. She had divorced and remarried since the last time, and now has a number of grandchildren as well.

It was the day of the “Big Game” in our area. The annual football game between two really big local rivals. My uncle and I watched it together. We happen to root for different teams. My team won. He was pretty sullen for the rest of the evening.

R9 was bored to tears with the football game. My aunt and cousin asked who would like to go help them with dinner. I told R9 to go with them. He didn’t want to at first. I kept telling him to go. He finally did, but with some serious reservations. He was not a happy camper about it

When I caught up with R9 again he was all smiles. Just as I knew that they would, my aunt and cousin took excellent care of R9. They are both excellent cooks and gave R9 the royal treatment. I suspect that they gave him a lot more to eat than any of them are admitting. R9 was pretty happy that I sent him off with the aunt and cousin. I think that he would gladly do it again.

One day my dad talked me into going to a gathering that he was having with some of his cousins. It was in a small town that I had never been to before, about an hour and a half away. He said that there would be a lot of my cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. there that I would know. So I went.

When I got there I discovered that my dad, his one living sister (my aunt), her husband, and their daughter (my cousin) were the only ones of there that really knew out of the dozens of people who had come.

During this whole thing, I spent a lot of time talking with my cousin. We somehow got on the subject of how we never really see most of our cousins any more. She and I see each other maybe once a year, because we seem to be the only two who go to most of the weddings, funerals, and other miscellaneous get-togethers hosted by our parents’ generation.

We decided that she and I ought to go out to dinner together some night. In the course of the discussion we talked about how we never really see any of our other cousins who live nearby. So then we got the glorious idea; why don’t we invite all of our cousins who live in the area to come have dinner with us too.

We weren’t sure if they would go for it, but decided to give it a try anyway. Our fallback position was that even if none of the others wanted to come, that the two of us (with our spouses) would at least have a nice evening together.

I picked a night, and a restaurant, and sent out emails to those who live in the area.

The planned upon night arrived. I was curious to see how many people would really actually show. Five out of the six cousins in the area (myself amoung the number) indicated that they wanted to attend. The sixth one was out of town and couldn’t come. Of the five who said that they would show, all five came.

We had a marvelous time. All who were there thanked me for arranging the meeting. We all talked about doing this on a regular basis, perhaps twice each year. We also talked about doing some sort of summer activities involving all of our families who live close enough to come.

Including myself and my siblings, I believe that there are thirty cousins altogether. The cousins that I’m talking about in this case are the descendants of my paternal grandfather (R6, if you will.) We’re scattered across the United States. A fair number of us stayed near our so-called homeland, but a large number have also spread across the country, some congregating in little pockets here and there, others living completely away from any family whatsoever.

The nice thing about these cousins is that I believe that in spite of the large number of us that there are. We have no feuds or bad blood between us. Some of us are more alike than others, but we are all on really good terms as far as I know.

Here’s our geographic dispersion as best I know it:

Northern Utah 6
Southern Utah 4
Central Utah 1
Northern Nevada 1
Southern Nevada 3
Arizona 3
New Mexico 1
Idaho 1
Washington 3
California 1
Minnesota 1
Georgia 1
North Carolina 1
Missouri 1
Not Sure 1 (I should just ask his sister, or his mother, I’m sure that one of them would know)
Deceased 1

In terms of age, there is a fairly large spread. The oldest have great-grandchildren and are well into their sixties. The youngest is about 33. Age-wise, I fall about in the middle. About half of the cousins are within about three years of me in terms of age.

I would like to set up various forums through which we can reconnect, if we so desire. Several of us keep in touch already, at least marginally with each other.

I don’t really want to get into the mode (at least right now) of creating big family reunion-types of affairs. I think that I would rather arrange for some informal type of get-togethers where those who can come will come. Perhaps they would grow into something more at a later point in time.

Alas, I am giving up on this goal. My older cousin Angelique recently married (as I learned through her sister) with making any mention to me. I certainly did not expect an invitation, but no message of any kind for such a monumental event?!? Her younger sister and I live in the same state and have for the best four years, but we have seen each other only once. Hopefully, we will salvage a casual relationship, but in fairness, I do not think I should list this as a goal since my efforts are sporadic at best and not well-received.

I received a reply from Nikki yesterday – it was brief but friendly! In turn, I replied this afternoon. Hopefully, this will be the start of regular communication. She lives instate and has an open invitation to visit. Now, if I just elicit a response from her sister…

No response to the Christmas card, so I am following up with an email to the younger of the two with whom I spoke more recently. Fingers crossed.

I did not see them for Christmas, but I did send them a card. I’ll follow up with emails in a few weeks if I do not hear from them in the meantime.

I bought my cousins a postcard and filled it out and everything. And then my stupid cat ate half of it… GRRRR… I couldn’t send it in that condition, so now I have to buy a new one and start again…