Get into a PhD program

Its going quite well. On a business trip I met a lot of people from my old Alma mater, so if I was not thinking about having a child next year, I would certainly be accepted. On verra.

I’ve been trying for literally 4+ years to get into a PhD program and have failed. I’ve been rejected from too many schools to mention. I will not give up because I need this degree to do what I want in my career and life. But it sure is making me depressed…;-(

I graduate in May, 2008 with a Computer Engineering degree. So, Ideally I would like to get into a integrated Ph.D program in the US or India

Okay, so I met with Advisor and he told me about the program that he and another faculty member in the department utilized. It is in the same university and it must be a well-kept secret, because I failed to discover it on my own.

There are core requirements but essentially you can put together your own sort of major and minor concentrations. This might be a way for me to really pursue what interests me if I do not get into clinical psych.

Now the plan will be to apply to both programs for Fall of 2008 and see what happens. Of course the joy of clinical is that it is so well funded. The other program is less so, but allows for more “part-time” completion and so fits my learning style and lifestyle better. At least on paper.

Anyway, it is encouraging and way better than the policy-oriented doctorate in my old department.

I contacted my advisor for my masters program and he wrote back. I will set up an appointment to talk to him in April.

All is not lost.

So I talked to Doctor K on the way to the airport and told her that I might try to do the doctorate with my masters department—I almost certainly would get in. The good news is that it is a faster degree and I could probably do the research that interests me, The bad news is that it is not funded at all (as far as I can tell) and it is less clinical and more managerial. Anyway, it would be worth having a sit-down with my old advisor and seeing if it’s the right thing.

Then again, Doctor K suggest volunteering for a prof in the program akin to the one I was not accepted to.

I think I am looking at Fall 2008 now, but I’m not sure.

I only applied to one program in my field. However, the program from which I got my Masters has a Ph.D. which might allow me to achieve my goals.

Obstacles: it is not funded and it is administratively- rather than practice-oriented.

Still, I should consider it.

I met with my friend who happens to be a professor in the department (though not the program) that I did not get into. She suggested that I apply for a slightly different program next year and that she will “coach me.” I dunno what I want to do. It’s true that I wouldn’t have applied if I wasn’t interested in research. I can continue in my profession at the Masters level without doing research or getting a Ph.D. I am fairly certain that I don’t want to teach.

So what do I want to do? This is what I must sort out. After putting 4 months of energy onto applying, I’ve had less than a week to process the fact that I did not get in.

Now I am asking the questions I did not ask when Dr. S called: Did the other guy already accept? If he didn’t or if he changes his mind, would I be wait-listed or something? Does the fact that I did not ask these questions mean I’ve given up any chance at it at all?

Yesterday I was just accepting. Today I am wondering.

My friend who is actually a professor in the department and I will go out to dinner Thursday night and we’ll discuss I am sure.

I did not get in. Dr. S called me 20 minutes ago with the news. They don’t just send a postcard at this level, which is nice.

Of course I am disappointed, but I have faith that the Lord has something even better and more fulfilling for me to do. Not to mention that my debt load won’t skyrocket. I am also very pleased to see my own level of maturity in response.

I did put a lot of energy (and money) into the application, so I imagine I will feel a bit depressed over the next week. But I’ll get it sorted.

Maybe I can move buying a house up on my 43Things list now.