get over my ex husband

Divorced in 2003, got back together for a few years only to have him back out after finding him in a sexual relationship with my brothers wife…Then a year later in another sexual relationship with my son’s baseball coach’s wife…yeah, do you seee a pattern? I have really gone through my heart to search for love or still loving him but I just dont. However I cannot get over all of this crap he brings into my life! I want to get over my ex to the point that he causes me no problems. When he cheats with another woman, I want to be able to roll my eyes and move along. Not go over what if and what will happen and what I should do…

So I know that the wound is still fresh, but all I can say is OUCH!! Most, if not all, of my adult life has been spent on loving this man. What do I do now? There is a huge part of me that wishes I am dreaming and I wake up, he’ll be there. Then there is this part of me that is so angry. How can do this? Literally tell me “I love you, you are all I live for” on Friday night and Saturday morning (before the coffee is even made) tell me “I don’t love you anymore, I will be better off without you and the kids, you hold me back, and we have no chemistry.” I feel as though the last nine years have just been a joke to him. Like the old shoe being thrown out. I want to get over him, I want to look forward and stare this new adventure in it’s face; but all I can seem to do is choke back tears and ask myself WHY? I have been on the internet trying to get some pointers on how to mend a broken heart, how to get over this man. It’s not helping! Does anyone have any advice for me?

I think I am over my ex-husband. Before the divorce I hated to talk to him. Now that the divorce is over I dont have a problem talking to him. Before the divorce I hated his girlfriend and would not let her do my daughter’s hair. Now that it is over I refer to her as my kids stepmother. Weird? A year separated, two years of infidelity, finally divorced but now I am insecure as hell. I can not go anywhere without feeling like everybody got it going on but me. I go thru seasons of eating without no limitations. And then seasons of trying to exercise all the weight off and starve myself. I have not went on any dates. I dont want my ex back, Lord Knows!!! But I definitely do not want to jump into something that I just got out of. Or really anything at all. But I do want the attention…not a relationship. I am wondering like dang why he aint by hisself? Why he not being punished with complete ultimate solitude, all the manipulating he done was not fair to anyone. He hurt A LOT of people behind his selfish ways.

My husband and I met, got pregnant and got married all within a year. That was 7 years ago, it wasn’t always perfect but we managed. We now have two daughters. A year and a half ago, he told me that he didn’t want to be with me anymore… I was okay with it at first as this has happened in the past. I assumed he just needed a break, I did too; but I was thinking a week or two. Well time went by and we still didn’t get back together. We still spent weeks at a time together and were intimate quite often, as well as spending holidays together and birthdays. It didn’t really seem like we weren’t together, other then thats what we told people. Well back in february he started dating an 18 year old girl(hes 28 , Im 25), which I did not handle well. I didn’t really think it would last, considering I was still spending the night with him and he would still stay with me, sex and everything. Well today I found out that he told her he loved her… We are not legally seperated and he still tells me he loves me and until a week ago we were still sleeping together. I don’t know if he loves her or not… But I know that I need to move on… But I am still so in love with him. He’s an amazing man and he has my heart. I seem to spend all my time crying and I have realized what true saddness is. I don’t want to move on, I want the love of my life and my family back! What should I do?

I need to realize that my soon to be ex husband does not love me anymore. I need to forgive him for stringing me along for the last year in a half making me think there could be a chance of getting back together. I need to take responsiblity for my part in this break up. I need to forgive him for not doing what he said he would do. I need to realize its over. I need to stop focusing on what he is doing with his life and my kids when he has them and start focusing on me and what I need to do to get better… ugghh

i dont know how to get over my ex. i thought maybe talking to people about it would help. im only 19 so young i know. but we have a baby together and we were together for 5 years and engaged. we recently started talking again (although i never did get over him or stop trying) and one day he loves me and then ext he doesnt. he hasnt answered my calls and has been ignoring me all day. it hurts. i know i have to be able to get over him because people do that. but i just cant seem to do it. im devastated. i just wanted us to be a family and to be happy. i dont know how to leave him alone and it hurts. i dont even know what to do.

I want to know how to get over seeing my soon to be ex with another woman and my children at a restaurant. I want to know how to get over the fear of living the rest of my life by myself. I want to know how to move on with my life when in my head I know that this was the only thing I could do and yet my heart pure aches. I want to know how to not be so sad all the time.

Thursday will be my 9 year wedding anniversary. I found out 2 1/2 months ago my husband was cheating on me with a 22 year old girl while I was pregnant and continually from there. We have separated. So my goal is to start a new tradition, the UnAnniversary. This will be my first year celebrating what is now my own day, every year, surrounded by friends. I have sent out an email to my friends requesting their presence for dinner and drinks Thursday. Hopefully many will respond and be able to attend. I want to be thankful for the things I do have, as opposed to the things I don’t.

My knees never knocked and I didn’t come close to crying. I listened to what started out to be an amends and a geniune concern about my life with my daughters. Then as I nodded and smiled quitely, I began to hear the familar justifications as to why I was left and why I don’t recieve any support from him. I don’t know when I stopped listening and finally decided to speak up but when I did, I was very clear. I looked him in his eyes and told him that he would never be able to convince me that I deserved to be treated in other way than with respect and kindness. When he went on and on about how he used to love me, I had to put my hand up and asked him to please stop with all that talk. That none of it was nessesary and it held absolutely no integrity with me. Words between us mean very, very little. When it was all said and done, he only wanted me to hand over our daughter to his girlfriend so that she could take her to the prison to see him. It really seemed like a waste of my time, he seemed really frustrated that I wasn’t easily moved by his pleas to cooperate with him while he was doing time in prison.

Well, that’s why I wrote that I’m stronger than I think. This is really about faith in Love, starting with the heart in my chest and the truest love I’ve even known, the love for my children. What I think, is not always that wonderful, but the faith and love in my heart really amazes me.

I honestly hope I’m doing the right thing for myself. I’m attempting to do what’s in the best interest of our child by being open to communication. I really don’t want to go the the jail but the letter writing ordeal is often a battle of interuptations. I’m tired of fighting over words we write and what they mean.

Being open to communication with him sort of puts me back to where I’m vulnerable with him. He’s charming and I sometimes believe he really loves me and he’s my friend. Truth is, he’s never demonstrated that he does loves me or that he’s a friend of mine. I’m not as angry about that as I used to be but I’m holding on to some anger for my own protection. I don’t feel it nessesary to point out to him that I don’t believe he’s sincere with me. Just a quiet “note to Self”.

The hard part is that I love not having him in my life. I’m used to it so much that he’s going to have to explain why I have any responsibility to get his daughter to him while he’s away. I know that it’s not any of my responsibility to assist him ever again when our child is in my home. Bottom line, she’s not going to have the relationship a Father and daughter should have while he’s behind bars. I’ve got to keep my guard up, and not get suckered into his pain and suffering.