feel more alive

I think I stop myself, I always knew that Iwas my own worst enemy, so after this entry I am going to try to be more alive , because life is a choice, I can’t be my own worst enemy any more I have to do things on my own, I cna’t hold myself back anymore.

What is the secret here? At the moment I am at home with my 5 month old baby.I am having the happiest time ever with her, but some days I just feel so tired and demotivated- but its not like I havent been tired before, like through work, and its not like Im ever going to stop being tired with her, not till she’s 21 probably!, so I cant spend my life moping around feeling crap, I would really like to be one of those people who’s always just full of life, stimulated, on top. What do I have to do to become one of them?

To tropical islands.