stop lying to everyone

In Zonks YAY.

I’ve Definately Not Told Any Lies Over The Past Week

Yay(:

Also in the past 2 months I have gotten my liscense. And like every young kid i was excited to be the cool kidd and drive all my friends around and everything. But one day i lied to my dad and got caught doing this. It wasnt good. I got severly punished and the car was taken away. I recently got the car back, and im afraid to even think about driving friends. I can’t tell if this is because i want to be honest or Im just afraid of my dad. I really dont know, but i hope i can turn whatever it is into honesty. I can use as much of that as i can get lately =\

Proof that I have an issue with being sneaky and lying is that as soon as I made this, i was thinking about setting it up on my computer tonight so that when my mom goes to look at my computer she’ll see this and let me off the hook. Nah. Not this time. This time im dealing with myself. I need to start getting all the thoughts of how i could lie and get away with things out of my head. It’s really not healthy.

So far in my life since ive gotten into high school I’ve lied. I have lied about everything in my life, from grades to partys to girls to friends to where i was going to where ive been. EVERYTHING was one great lie. My latest relationship was based on a lie because of what my girlfriend found out i did. I cheated on her, at a party that i wasnt supposed to be at because my parents didnt know, drinking while my parents didnt know, and then i slept there while my parents thought i was at another friends house. I keep getting in trouble when my parents catch my lying but it really is starting to wear them down as well as myself. I need to stop being so selfish and start learning how to just do the things i can and be happy. I need to stop looking for ways to get around and out of things safely and just go with the truth and let it take care of me. I recently got angry at god for not watching out for me and helping me. But that was completely wrong, got was just trying to help me the only way he could. The hard way. Now, i know alot of kids in high school lie about where they are goin and what they are doin but to me its not worth it. Being able to be friends with your parents and have them KNOW where your going, and be cool with it, is the best option. I really dont know how to fix this. Everything i can think of in my life in the past two years is tied into a lie. Ive stolen money, clothes. things that belong to my friends. I dont want this to be my life. I dont want my life to be an unhonest one where i cant even think of one thing thats pure. I dont have one thing i can think of right now that is not based or related to a lie. And that sickens me. I miss how my mom and dad used to trust me. I miss how they used to think I was a good person. I dont even know what to say to them anymore because i know how often I’m hurting them. I really don’t know what to do to stop. But i know if i dont ill be ruining alot of peoples lives. Including my own.