make eye contact

Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. But a lot of communication (something like 64% I just read) is non-verbal. We communicate with our body language, our expressions, our eyes. I’d like to be more confident looking into someone’s eyes when speaking to them. I think that would allow for better conversation and deeper communication, not to mention a little intimacy!

Confrontation in general is a real challenge for me. It is so intense to look someone directly in their eyes when they are looking back at you. I have trouble and end up even breaking into tears because of the intensity sometimes. I think that it comes from my low self worth. I feel so vulnerable, open and weak with whoever I try it with… only with people I am so very close to (my best friend, parents or partner) can I do this with.

I rarely make eye contact with anyone… I feel people become uneasy when I do.

It’s very hard for me to make eye contact with someone, it sounds silly but I don’t know why I don’t do it. Even with people that are close to me like family and friends.

i went to a strip club today. i never want to make eye contact again.

i still get nervous

this morning i made eye contact…

I turned around and looked out the window, saw a cat passing by then it stopped and looked at me..

so i held eye contact with it for 7 seconds! then it walked away…

from then on i felt stronger [sarcasm]

HAhaha! but it’s funny though!

hey im one step closer!

Okay…so, when I’m having a conversation with someone, I look away while I’m talking and I look at the other person while they’re talking. I get so lost in the excitement and nervousness of being in someone else’s presence and being put on the spot, needing to come up with things to say, that I forget to even look at them. When I finish my comment or story I suddenly remember that I should be making eye contact. But then when the conversation rolls back around to me, the same thing happens all over again. So that’s what I want to work on. Multi-tasking—talking and looking at the same time. Otherwise I feel like I’m not really all there. And usually, the other person can tell. I think.

Up to the age of 28 (I’m now 40) I was chronically depressed and shy and not only was always apologizing for myself in various ways, but could never directly talk to or look at people. After the age of 28 I decided that I was so tired of being this person I was and decided it was time to become someone different. Anyone who has been through this knows that it’s not an overnight thing, but with dedication to one’s self, change is thoroughly possible. You not only have to NOT want to be the person that’s hurting yourself, but, you have to want to be something else enough to stick to it. I learned to stop myself when the negative voice in me took over. I learned to think the complete opposite when I would think a negative thing about myself. This process takes time because most the time our thoughts have been left unimpeded and negativity is as much a part of our being as the color of our eyes are, it takes a conscious effort and you have to stick to it. I learned to look at myself (In the eyes) in the mirror. I practiced my goal speech behind closed doors until I learned to speak the same way in front of others and as well, I pretended that someone was standing right in front of me and I was speaking to them in a manner and way that I wanted to which meant looking into their imaginary eyes. The more you are good to yourself in thought and action and the more you practice and think self confidence and respect, the better you will get at it until you can do it without consciously trying. Too, the more you are good to yourself, the more you’re going to be good to other people and they will repay in kind…the more you respect yourself, the more you will respect others and it will come back to you.

No, I’m just kidding, don’t. But look into people’s pupils. It’s deep. And also, watch them look away. They’re uncomfortable with that powerful contact of yours. I hold the key in my eyes.