overcome my depression.

Something happened last night.I have been suffering from depression since I was 14(I’m 22 now) and ever since then I have had this constant,never-ending pain in my chest.The doctors said it was the depression that caused it.It never stopped,it never dropped in intensity,it would only grow in intensity when something bad happened to me,then return to the “normal” level once I would calm down.Last night it just stopped.I can’t feel it any more AT ALL.It’s just gone.Today I haven’t felt it one bit.I’m not sure what caused this change but I have a hunch it has something to do with my recent attempts to change myself into the person that I want to be.It took me quite a while and it wasn’t pretty or easy(I quit and then started all over again more times than I care to remember)but I can finally see some real evidence that my struggle is paying off.So,to everybody reading this and in a position similar to mine HANG IN THERE AND KEEP TRYING!It may take a while but it gets better,life gets better and not because of God or the universe or some other nonsense like that but because of YOU.You’re putting things in motion,you’re making things happen,you’re the one who doesn’t give up although you feel like it would be so much easier to do so,you deserve all the credit.I give credit where credit is due.(Hey,how about a joke to cheer you up:Borrow money from pessimists,they won’t expect you to return it! ;-)

I have been in deep depression since the last 6months after my break up in January. It affected my work, my relationship with my friends, my art, and in general my whole life. My ex has happily moved on to be with someone else, although she calls me up time to time to tell me she still in love with me, but thinks it best we move on.
I was briefly seeing someone and shared it with ex, and surprisingly she told she cannot see me happy with another person. I still don’t understand her. We broke up because we moved away and the long distance took her toll on her. She hated being alone and the fact that meeting me once a year was all she got. She still wears the wedding ring i got her. I have gotten very wasted and called her names abusively like a jerk. I am a gentle person and realize that the end of this relationship brought out the worst in me. Apart from becoming a recluse and drinking a lot alone, i began to stop doing the positive things i used to do,like working out, painting, cooking. Instead I would stay in bed, with a bad hangover and lie there waiting to just wither away. After weeks of anguish, i realized no one but me can pull myself together. I am still working on it, slowly. Its hard but now i go for long walks,meditate, cook, and starting to paint as well. I’m still sad, but working on completely healing myself. Hope i succeed.

My therapist resigned her position at the clinic, but said she won’t be referring me to anyone else. Evidently, I have completed enough homework to keep myself from spiralling into pits of despair whenever I get depressed. Yay for progress!

I’ve been fighting my depression for months, but it has been subsiding rather rapidly in the last few weeks. I’m spending more time with friends, making and fulfilling plans for the future, and generally living my life in a more positive manner. All in all, I’m thrilled with the way this goal turned out. I was a little concerned that I would just have to live with depression – something that would just be in the background in everything that I did – but this hasn’t been the case. The combination of medication, therapy, meeting social and work goals has all but dissolved my depression.

My doctor wants me to try a new medication cause I am having bad side effects. So I hope this works.

I have been on my new pills for a while now and am still having a hard time, but i guess it doesnt help when you are pretty much getting fired from your job, well not fired but pushed out. So sad to say that I still broke down a couple of times last week but so far this week is going better…

According to my doctor and therapist, I’m still depressed. Of course, my mood has leveled out, so I was beginning to think I was being underestimated; I figured I was doing better and it should be clear to everyone around me that I’m chipping away at my depression. Well, I’m still working on it. As I said, my mood has leveled out, but my head is still full of marshmallows from the medication. I’m hoping some of this is going to clear-up when the depression fully lifts, but I know that I’m still going to have some trouble thinking clearly from the seizure medication. At least, I think it’s the meds. Whatever it is, I can’t hide behind it. Being spacey is no excuse for not writing more or even finishing my degree.

I wish this new medication would kick in soon, I am feeling so overwhelmed today and I dont know what to do… I tried to cry thinking that it would relieve some stress but it didnt help. I cant really get away from my work, it is so backed up…

I just went to my doctor yesterday and he gave me some anitdepressants to try out for a couple of weeks then I have to go back to see him. They are called Cipralex and I am taking them in 10mg doces. I took my first one last night and wow it kicked my ass, lol, I was so tired, couldnt stop yawning and my eyes were so glossy but it sure helped me sleep. My doctor even told me that for some people it helps you sleep and others it makes it harder to sleep. I am going to keep a journal of how I feel while im on it so that I can bring it up to my doctor when I see him again. Also he suggested that i go see a clinical Psychologist to work out my relationship problems. So I think this is the beginning of something good.

Today I am going to my doctor to talk to him about this, I really want to get the ball rolling and end this…