never settle for anything less than I deserve

Especially lately. Should I expect more out of people or more out of me, or just more out of life. Or should I just be content and wait for life to happen, however, I don’t think life is going to knock on my door and ask me to come out and play.

THis weekend, I totally settled for far less than I deserve. Settled and accepted something that I always swore that I wouldn’t and now I feel angry and disappointed with myself. I”m not sure how to recover from this one. I suppose I need some esteem boosting. I’m worth more, I deserve better and somehow I must get it.

TO HAVE A CONTROL OVER EVERYONE ITS ESSENTIAL.

It’s been months since I adopted this goal and I’ve been training myself to always put myself first and never settle for less than I deserve. Everything has been great since I’ve been away from my husband. I thought I would go back but I realize I deserve better, MUCH BETTER! I will not settle for crappy anything again. I’ve found a guy who is GREAT. We have a lot in common. He’s also very liberal! I think of him as my liberal piece of pie. I live in probably the most conservative place in this country and I’m ready to get with the rest of the liberals. My new honey is moving back to Cali and I hope he asks me to go with him. I think that is the plan but we’ll see how things go. Anyway, this is supposed to be about settling right? I’m off topic. Anyway, things are great when you don’t settle and everyone should try it out. I’ve gotten all of the negative people out of my life (my husband included) now I’m working on healthy, functional, positive relationships. Sounds good to me! :)

Here in the new country I should remember about this very much!

I have a boyfriend! Wow, I never thought I would have to say that again. His name is TJ and he’s very sweet. He’s intelligent, done with school, has goals(we have some of the same goals), ambition, and a drive for life. At first I thought I would be settling but I quickly realized that he is different. Very different from anyone I’ve encountered in a very long time. So anyway, I had to check my functional vs. dysfunctional relationship scale and this relationship is in the functional section. I don’t think this man has a sociopathic bone in his body. So we will see how things go!

Here is the functionl vs. dysfunctional scale I go by now and that includes all relationships( friends, family, etc)

Dysfunctional Relationships vs. Healthy Relationships
How would you describe your relationship? If you knew that there were very clear distinctions that separate a dysfunctional relationship from a healthy one, would that make a difference to you? If so, read on. Discover the differences and take the little test at the end. You might be surprised by what you learn.

Many relationships are dysfunctional because they contain “faulty programs” downloaded from past relationships. Most people are not consciously aware of this, but in fact, it has been shown to be true. This is why people find themselves dealing with the same types of issues over and over again no matter how many partners they may have.

Whether it is money, sex, jealousy, fidelity, or any number of other issues, to some degree or another, the theme is the same for them in the current relationship as those of the past.

A dysfunctional relationship has certain qualities about it. These qualities are as follows:

A sense that you have to fit into someone else’s perception of what is right or wrong in order to be loved.
You feel confirmed. Change to: confined.
There is always something to fix in the relationship.
You feel like you’re settling.
Who you are is diminished in the relationship.
Your needs are not met in one way or another.
You’re never going to be good enough.
You feel trapped.
Being there is not what you really want, but you’re afraid to leave.
You find other ways to satisfy yourself to keep your mind off how unhappy you are in the situation.
When it’s good, it’s really good, but when it’s bad it’s horrible.
These are just some of the signs of a typical dysfunctional relationship.

On the other hand, a healthy relationship has these characteristics:

You feel honored.
You feel more alive.
There is nurturing and support for you to become more of who you are.
There is strength coming from your partner allowing you to explore ways to expand into new territories.
There is trust.
The goals are the same, even though the ways of expressing them may be different.
Each brings healing into the other through depth and security.
The relationship causes you to create a new dynamic based on the future rather than on what has been known in the past.
There seems to be a knowing about the other person that goes beyond this time and space, as if you had known each other before.
Your partner is more than you would have known to ask for.
You wonder how you ever got this lucky.
The differences are dramatic! Take this simple test to see where your relationship falls regarding these distinctions.

Answer these questions by using a scale between 1-10. 1 being not at all and 10 being all the time.

To what degree do you experience support from your partner?
How would you rate the amount of time you feel safe in your relationship?
How much of the time do you feel motivated to expand your boundaries within this relationship?
How honored do you feel in the presence of your mate?
What level of enjoyment do you experience as a result of this relationship?
How much of yourself do you allow to be expressed within this relationship?
What level of compatibility do you have in common with your significant other?
How would you rate the goals and objectives you have in life with those of your mate?
How close are your principles and ideals of how a relationship should be with those of your partner?
How willing are each of you to communicate openly and honestly about your needs and desires within the relationship?
It should be relatively easy to determine how you rate the quality of relationship you are in by answering these questions. Take the time now to evaluate what kind of relationship you truly desire. Balance that with the answers you gave. What’s there? What’s missing?

http://www.soulpoint.com/newrelationships.html

I want to realise that I still want to be beautiful for my man and to be healthy and full of energy for my future children! This means I should go to bed earlier! And rest better! And look well! And take care of my eyes. Appreciate myself.
And more then anything now this means I have to leave the work in such time that I came home before midnight and even were in bed before midnight! This is all for my own good! And I really want to be beautiful and happy for my man!

I’ve been working on this goal and I can say it’s working out better than I thought. I had a habit of settling for things=clothes, jewelry, etc/ people= fake friends, disrespectful assholes that I now do not associate myself with/ jobs= crappy low paying shit/ and I will not do that anymore. I am putting myself first and I will not settle anymore. I realize I matter most and should always keep myself first in everything I do. It’s been working out. Life is much better. I settled for a husband when I knew there was other MEN out there who are much more respectful, loving, and kind. Now that he is gone, life is much better and I am much happier without him. I thought to myself ” I will not settle for a man who is not worth the time of day”. I have no children and It’s not to late to find an honorable, respectful, loving, humble, MAN. Notice how I said MAN. I know I look good and I can pull someone much better. As I said before I WILL NOT SETTLE.

We only got one life to live ya’ll. I’m not trying to be mean and go do alot of bad stuff. I do want to be honest with people. And find a way to laugh everyday. I want to feel like I’ve did it big everyday. And know that with life, health, and strength I am rich. And money helps too!

up about something at work and I am so glad I did….