be positive

sometimes I feel so different. I need to stay possive and let life not take the best of me. It’s hard, but being negative helps nobody.

an insecure friend of mine made me feel terrible for changing a date we had to another day-I’m rationalising and seeing that she’s not being fair. I will write her an email, and even if she doesnt respond well, I wont take it personally, as I see she overreacts to everyone all the time.

My life is changing; I’m going to another country to study, and the pressure to get my life sorted and set my sights is overwhelming-I will take baby steps. one small step at a time. give myself much-needed peace. Write a list and put it aside for later use. Give myself a break.

My mum stresses me out-I will see the funny side of things, and not take on her dramatic outlook on things. I will see life’s obstacles as isolated incidents, rather than looming wholeness. “Break it down”as the saying goes.. :)

I feel guilt towards my dad, I feel I should try to be in his life more-I will offer to babysit my brother more often, send postcards and emails. And I will not feel guilty; communication is a two-way thing.

I feel I dont see my brother enough-I will offer to babysit him more often, and when he’s a bit older, take him to places.

I have a lot to pack-I will set specific tasks for each day, and stick to those.

sometimes this is hard, especially in winter. I find many people become gloomy as winter approaches, and clothes get darker. WHY?! I want sunshine and bright colours, and smiles all around :)

i have the new job that i wanted, but i’m still patiently waiting for a case/client. hopefully one will appear soon. i don’t like being idle… but i suppose i can take this time and really relax since i didn’t have much of a summer after i graduated.

my special mouse Amelie is sick. i’m really worried about her and i’m hoping that she’ll be ok. i’ve decided to take her to a vet, even though many may think that’s absurd. i want to give her the best treatment i can give her. it’s been hard looking for a vet, one’s out of town, and another vet is closed today. maybe i’ll find hope tomorrow. she’s the sweetest thing ever and i love her so much.

i can find her a vet and she will get better.

i got a call today for an interview tomorrow. i’m nervous at the moment but i’ll be ok. i have to keep on telling myself that. this is what i have to do if i want a job that fits my field… i have to work hard for it. i’ve had an interview before so i’ll be ok. i can do this!

today i’ll be driving:
-the furthest/longest that i have ever driven
-alone
-in an unpracticed route

and i can do it!

I cannot think of a better story than this to back up my idea that if you think positive then positive things will happen…
The last couple of days I’ve been really kind of down. I think it has to do with the fact that Sunday was father’s day and Torren’s birthday is next Sunday and I haven’t heard from his dad in almost 3 months. Trust me… it’s not like I miss this guy at all… it just makes me so upset to know that he choose this disgusting life style over having a relationship with his son. It always makes me feel like there must be something really wrong with me if someone actually would choose to live in the middle of nowhere, make no money at a crappy job, drink constantly, and hook up with random bar sluts over his little family. The thought of him and some of the things he’s done and said to me in the last few years literally makes me sick. Everytime I think he can’t sink any lower this guy manages to sink to new levels of pathetic. 99% of the time I just don’t care anymore… I love Torren more than two parents could love a kid, and I don’t mind taking care of him by myself. It’s just that at times around holidays and special days I get kind of sad… So for the last few days I’ve been kind of down… I don’t know what changed today but I’ve really decided once and for all that I’m not going to let it get to me anymore. I can’t change him… so all I can do is continue to do what’s best for Torren and try and stay as positive as I can. I told myself to just get rid of all that hate that’s bundled up inside.. Haha, as cheesey as it sounds if your heart is full of hate then there’s no room for love :) So literally within minutes of my little revalation the phone rings and it’s the lady from red bull ready to do a phone interview… she liked me so much I have a proper interview on Thursday!! This seriously sounds like an absolute dream job for me :) Then not long after that I got an email from my Sociology teacher telling me that eventhough he gave the rest of my group a B on their final project grade he gave me and one other girl an A because we obviously worked much harder and handed in much better work than the others :) So then as I’m walking downstairs to leave I ran into my sister who told me that her friend that was over last week who hadn’t seen me in a few years told her that I was really pretty and that they couldn’t believe I had had a baby because I’m so tiny :) Seriously… on a scale of one to ten this day would have been a million :) I think I’m definitely gonna keep this positive thing up :) And besides…. everyone knows that success is always the best revenge :)

I was feeling quite negative earlier today. I was out and about walking and my thoughts drifted to things others have done/are doing that hurt me. But I reminded myself that I want to be positive and gave myself a good talking to and turned my attitude around.

Being bitter does nobody any good – not me, not them. So after a bit of rationalising and teasing out exactly what’s bothering me, what I can reasonably expect and how I should handle things I’m feeling a lot brighter and more positive about people and life in general.

that I am so much more positive since I joined 43 Things. I think it’s making me aware of so many good things in life and of all the possibilities. Plus I’m becoming more focussed and the sense of achievement and getting my life sorted is uplifting.