Learn to Negotiate.

I’ve been working on a project for awhile and haven’t been getting paid, because my business partner assumes we’ll get paid when we finally land a deal.
I think I will negotiate the terms of our partnership and make sure I’m not volunteering my time to no end. I know it is better to offer a few options and have a discussion about what is the best win-win situation. But let’s try!

UPDATE (a day later): I just had a “crucial conversation” with my business partner. It had to be made clear. I feel really good about it – no promises were made, but he knows what my expectations are and that is a big first step!

Herb Cohen talks in his book You Can Negotiate Anything about interest-based negotiation. There is an interesting article on Psychology Today that describes five core concerns of every negotiation:

1. autonomy
2. appreciation
3. affiliation (being treated as a colleague)
4. status (or respect)
5. fulfillment

The article suggests determining which of these core concerns is most important to you in a particular situation (so you can know a good deal when you see it) and which is most important to your opponent. I always find labels helpful, so I hope I can recognize these concerns in future negotiations.

I don’t think you can ever really say you’ve “learned” how to negotiate, but I had my last class yesterday in Alternative Dispute Resolution (a/k/a Negotiation for Lawyers). I now know the rudiments of negotiation and have only to learn how to apply them. I’ve already started recognizing the elements of negotiation when I interact with others; it’s just a matter of taking control.

I’ll keep posting when I read more books on negotiation to help others out.

Good luck!

Over on Listsofbests.com, I’ve created a list of the books that are recommended by my negotiation professor. Let me know if you know of other good books or what you think about any of these books.

My professor for Alternative Dispute Resolution (fka Negotiation) requires us to read at least one book from a list of books on negotiation and write a report about it. The book I’ve chosen is Herb Cohen’s You Can Negotiate Anything. I’ve heard good things about this book. Does anybody have any other suggestions for good books to read about negotiation?

I’m in law school, and one of my classes right now is in what lawyers call “alternative dispute resolution,” or “adr.” The prof said he used to call the class “negotiation” before adr became the popular term. So far it’s really interesting. I’m getting a lot of practice and learning that I have almost no negotiation skills—yet. Well, let me rephrase that: I’m the guy you want . . . to go against.