survive the emotional rollercoaster that will be the next 3 months of my life

Well, I finished up the last of my official duties at JCHS, secured my one-year leave, and told my students about the pregnancy and the upcoming transition without having a nervous breakdown. I have a few small details to tie up (taking the last wave of stuff out of my office and finishing up the music library reorganization), but that will only take me a few mornings or afternoons. Wow. I’m not going back to work in the fall. Weird.

Today I FINALLY confessed to my students (and to you, 43Thingers) that I am 11 weeks pregnant and planning on taking a 1-year leave from my job. I also introduced them to the VERY talented young woman who will be taking over for me next fall, who has been a friend of mine since middle school and is also a graduate of the program. The reception to the news was good, and the kids seem very excited about her.

This has been sooooo hard not to talk about (in my day-to-day life and here on 43T) that I’ve taken to just avoiding it altogether.

The next three days are big—I have a major doctor’s appointment tomorrow, and then a weekend of show choir tripness….if I don’t kill any of my students by the end of the weekend, it will have been a success! I love them, I really do, it’s just that some members of the show choir are, well….some of them have difficulties with authority. I’ve made it clear that if we encounter problems with behavior on this year’s trip, it will be a VERY long time before the group goes for an overnight trip again.

...and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I still have a lot more to do before I can call this goal “accomplished”.

Life just took another unexpected turn today. Very, very cool.

...I took some time to talk through my feelings with a few of my close friends, and it helped. Why is it that I forget that I have people that are willing to LISTEN to me when I need to talk? I have this horrible tendency to isolate myself. Not good.

...now I’m just waiting for the bottom to hit. So many thoughts, opinions, and theories going through my head right now, but I’m really not comfortable discussing them very openly. Arrrgh. Why did I write this entry again?

...and my head is SPINNING. I’m not ready to disclose much at this point, but suffice it to say that a number of things (work, personal life, health) are crashing together at the moment, and while it’s exciting, I’m a little scared, too.

One day at a time, Katie, one day at a time…

...more details later, as things develop further and I come to grips with what it all means…