take risks

“the two key elements were not caring what other people thought and learning to think of my life as a ticking clock…” i love this concept. =)

In all my life I’ve always been the quiet one, the geek and the goody two-shoes. I know, great combination. But I guess from there I realized I didn’t enjoy that. SO>>something had to change. But for things to change I would have to take risks. AAAAAAA!!!!

This is just a way to get out of my comfort zone, and also to experience life a bit more, I’ve missed out on a lot cause I shut myself away and don’t engage. Or I do for periods of time anyway.
Came up when I did counselling for a little while, I noticed that I didn’t take any risks, all I did afterwards was get drunk and start smoking for a while. I’d never smoked before- at least not properly,so it was a risk, but hardly something amazing.

My whole life I’ve been too afraid to do anything, which has resulting to me missing out on many great opportunities in my life and led me to many miseries. I can’t really explain the reasons for my fears but i am hoping to put an end to it by taking not just one risk, but many in my life. I have not just lost friends, but also missed out on a chance to meet new friends, & have relationships & memories. Chances to see great things, do great things, and become a great person. I’ve lost my chances at being Seen and heard, and have become invisible for practically my entire life because of my fears. Now I am hoping that this will be the end of it all. I’m hoping by taking risks i will break out of my shell and lead myself to a better, happier, more meaningful life…. i’m just hoping I can Start SOONER rather than LATER!

~Life is to short to live with fear. We have to live it the best way we can, & to the Fullest. <3

For my whole life, my hair was long, straight, blonde. Not even any layers. A couple of years ago I just got so completely bored with it I practically ran to a salon and told her to ‘chop it all off, just have fun with it.’
That’s basically been my motto for that past years, even though i keep wanting to grow it out again. My friends call it my Obsessive Compulsive Hair Thing.
I have sudden urges to go out and get my hair cut, and if i don’t get one soon, and that means pronto, then i cut it myself.

I’ve made the new years resolution to grow it out, even if it means not straightening my hair and repressing my want to have the stylist ‘chop it all off and have fun with it.’

i’ll set this goal as Achieved when i’ve done at least 3 things that i see as abnormally risky!

Oh and I also was driving 40mph over the speed limit at 12:30am…. oops? haha ok, so it was TOTALLY intentional. There were no other cars, I was on a deserted 2-mile stretch of road in a quiet suburban town… If I had gotten caught I would have been charged with driving without a license (I only have a permit), and driving 40+ mph over the speed limit, which results in the addition of 11 points on my permit. Once I reach 11 points, it’s suspended. I would have been in serious, serious shit.

that’s definitely the STUPIDEST thing I’ve ever done. I probably will never ever do it again. But it was fun, I needed to do something to feel free, so I was going 60, blasting my Instant Karma CD :D

So the whole 12.2 mile mountain run thing fell through… and the whole going for the guy I really like thing also fell through… mostly because I fell out of love with both of them.
BUT I did go for a guy over the summer who I really liked/maybe still like… it was my first kiss and I was totally the one who initiated it.. :D :D. I guess it wasn’t a HUGE risk because I knew he wouldn’t reject me… but it still took balls, and it’s totally uncharacteristic of me to do something like that (I guess that’s kind of a given, though, seeing as it WAS my first kiss…) but it was very very rewarding :) and it wasn’t a disaster like I always imagined it being.. hahaha.

Taking risks is a scare thing. I can do it, but when it comes to doing it by talking to someone face to face, it becomes a whole different ball game. I admit, I am afraid.

I ski in Telluride which is said to have “the toughest steeps in the country.” normally I ski all blacks and a few double blacks here and there. I skied mad hard during xmas break, so this February break, I set out to have a little fun, and ended up skiing double black ex runs (so it’s double black, but harder, hence the “ex” for extreme terrain) as well as a few rails in the terrain park, which i’ve never done before (I fell twice, resulting in a huge bruise on my hip and a bunch of ppl on the chair lift laughing at me… haha but it was fun). I did a few hike-to runs in the new bowl they opened up, some in-the-trees between two double black mogul runs, some actual runs that were moguls in the trees, and some on Gold Hill, which is a whole lift of double black ex runs, all with 170cm skis (I myself am about 172cm.. haha so that’s tough going in the trees and moguls).
I also climbed the inside of my house… it’s made of logs, so they make real nice hand and foot holds, especially the cracks and cross beams and things. I came back with a few fingers ripped open, some bruises, etc. it was way fun!
now I’m taking on the challenge of running distance in spring track while I train for a 12.2 mile mountain run which is at the end of the summer. huge challenge, but I’m feeling adventurous. (I accidentally ran 11-12 miles when I got lost in a neighboring town, and it took 3 days to recover… long story, but it was really cool so that gave me a boost of confidence).
also, I’m going for a guy I like. hopefully I won’t screw it up. btw, it’ll be my first kiss if all goes according to plan :)
whew! I feel adventurous lol.