honor my mother

One of our love birds died two days ago. He died while I was holding him in my hands. I am sad about this sweet little creature, but most of all I’ve had all the old feelings rushing back. Feelings I try to deal with one at a time. A day at a time. I can’t help but think of how I wasn’t there to comfort my mom when she passed on. I rushed back home from Houston, but made it to the hospital an hour after she was gone. How I wish I could have held her, comforted her at that moment. She was as fragile and weak as this little bird. She is no longer in pain, I tell myself. It is so hard to let go.

I have a little altar set up in the kitchen where I light a candle for her every day. I cut roses from my garden and put them by her wedding picture. Next to my bed, I have a beautiful photo of her laughing. It has almost been three years. I miss her so. I still make a mental note to tell her things when I next speak with her. I try to honor her my being a good mom, as she was.

My mother passed away November 15, 2006… I am only 18.. My mother was my life.. She was my best friend. My only true friend.. The only one I trusted.. I miss her so much.. I would give my life to see her once more… At Least she got what she wanted.. to see me graduate.. I have failed her I dropped out of college thats all she wanted was for me to be happy and live a nice life.. But the truth told I’m not sure if I can without her.. My children won’t have a grandmother.. who will walk me down the aisle.. (not my father) I had so much time left with her.. There was somethings that we will NEVER get to do together.. some things that she will never get to see.. I just want to live up to her expectations…
And Now that I am crying hysterically I will go…

my mother died on dec 2nd 2006.
i need the world to know that i adored her.

My heart and soul. I miss my mom more than anything in this world. She was my everything. I owe my talent and intelligence and beauty to her. I can only hope to be half the woman that she was and still is in my heart. Everyday I wonder if I can make it without her, and I have to remind myself that she is always with me. I want her to be proud of me and everything that I do. I haven’t done that yet, but I will. God Bless Her and Jesus please take care of her. My guardian angel, Narda Cisco.