kinorkahol will be ok!
Untitled
1 week ago
I still think I have improved. I am going to see whether this lasts until June 2010 and call this done.
People who have done this
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How to be a better listener
It made me
Happy but incomplete
 "Becoming a better listener is one of those things you can never master well enough. So, although I've come a long way, this mission will last for the rest of my life."
How I did it: For a while now, I've been trying to teach myself to stop when I'm about to interrupt others when they are speaking. Slowly, I have started to notice when I fall back to the habit of being _too_ active and kick myself not to interrupt. One important idea that I got from Scott Ginsberg is that it's good to really listen, and only talk at the end of the discussion when you are sure that the others have said what is on their minds.
Lessons & tips: First, seek to understand. Only then to be understood. Resources: Lots of good articles around Scott Ginsberg's blog:
4 people found this helpful
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More "How I Did It" stories
It made me 
How I did it: Firstly i checked my ego at the door.Then I sat and looked into peoples faces as they spoke and i found i could immerse myself in their story.I guess what really started me thinking about others was something that happened to me about 5 years ago. I was speaking to an elderly lady ( she was 83) about mundane things and she happened to glance over my shoulder at the sky and she saw for the first time in her long life the moon during … Read how I did it…
It made me
happy!
How I did it: I just started to focus on asking people questions- at first I used a list of questions to ask people, and I forced myself not to speak until they there over. Usually one of the questions would make the people want to talk about something else- and so a conversation was started where my main job was to listen. After some time I could get rid of my question-list and just start to ask questions and see where they led me. Now I can have a co… Read how I did it…
It made me
delighted
How I did it: Was intentional about being receptive and suppportive of what the other person was saying. Kept my mind clear. Did not judge anything they said. Read how I did it…
SlayneB is thankful for many things this Thanksgiving.
It made me
more informed.
How I did it: I've taken classes in crisis counseling before, so I knew that to let people talk about themselves first, especially if they were upset about something. Ask open-ended questions, such as: "Tell me what you were feeling and what it made you do when he did that" instead of: "Were you mad?"And I would watch myself, and notice when I would start to talk too much. I also became less likely to talk about myself, and I was fine with … Read how I did it…
People doing this are also doing these things:
Entries
ranjan_miles_to_go is reading My name is Red by Orhan Pamuk
Untitled
2 weeks ago
This has been my goal for a long time now. Though I feel I am a better than average listner but of late, I have started developing a habit of commenting in the middle of a person’s speach; to show I know about this too! I gotta stop this.
Also, I must be able to hold my weight while doing this, that is not allow ppl to put their weight on me just becasuse I am listening to them. People do tend to take it for granted that you are agreeing to everything they are saying just because you are hearing them out!
The lesson is you can hear someone out and yet disagree to him in the end. Just because you have heard somebody, it does not necessarily mean you are agreeing.
Sadly, I finally heard what I
2 weeks ago
gave you time to say
I waited patiently, and listened
than you spoke it,”retired”
There was no party, no friends, there is still a feeling that things may change should the economy pick up
And I struggled, for you not working means we cannot be together, share, our lives except for cold keyboards, and plastic phones
There will be no warm body, to touch under cold hands
and my selfish side, wants to scream, I need you
and the part that loves you
just reminds me..I can wait to touch you again
Untitled
2 weeks ago
I am a terrible listener. I do more talking than I do listening. I want others to feel like they can talk to me, and that whatever they are saying to me really matters. I want people to know that they are really being heard when they talk to me. I don’t have that right now. I am such a bad listener, and usually do most of the talking. Perhaps I’m an attention seeker, but, I want to be a better person. I want to be a better listener.
I hear you
4 weeks ago
so little lately, so much so, that you did not even tell me about your surgery, till the day before
I hear better, when you say nothing.
I hear, much clearer, when you are in my arms
This distance between is making me deaf.how can I explain, if I only saw your face, felt your hand, things would be different
All I want to hear, is your heart beat, as I lie my head on your chest, for in that moment, there is nothing, that we cannot face together
yathaa dam buzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Untitled
2 months ago
better listner never means just to listen from ears its to understand things in the way the other person is saying….......one can say its like listening with brain not just by ear. For this concentration plays a crucial role.
ihaveneatstuff is alive & kicking, trusting & believing & grateful!
I have a friend,,,
2 months ago
that is going through hard times. In the middle of my morning chores it was put upon my heart that I needed to call her. I did. As it turned out she was having a terrible morning and as she was talking to me I told her, “I wish I had some good advice to give you.” She replied, “I don’t need advice. I need someone to listen to me without judgment and with out trying to fix me. I just need someone to listen to me and tell me they hear me.” So that’s what I did. By the time we got off of the phone she was laughing. It never ceases to amaze me how complicated we try to make helping others when most of the time they just need someone to listen and say “I hear you.”
rochiegirl hoping for the best!
progress
3 months ago
this has been such a long work in progress, but i do feel that my progress as a better listener is directly correlated to my understanding of what it takes to develop great relationships with people; i am thoroughly convinced that being a good listener is one of the foundations of a quality relationship.
I will always be working at this, but from when i started this goal, i know I have totally become a better listener and everyday, it gets easier to stop needing to talk so much, and much easier to be the one listening. i am more interested in what the other person has to offer in the conversation, and how what they say contributes to the overall quality of my relationship with them.
justxhoursxaway has 39 problems but a bitch ain't 1
Reasons:
3 months ago
I guess I talk a lot, I retain a lot of things people tell me, I do care deeply, I try to do all I can to help my friends, but me shutting up once in a while might be helpful, and hopefully negate any future communication issues—It could only help.
I wish I could say
3 months ago
that I could do the task set ahead of me.I was asked, to write, about, the Marines…”Do this for me, everyone I asked, said no..” he said..
“I am not good with words”, he said
“But there was a sacrifice..not one during war, but we were peacekeepers”, he told me..”in korea, and Vietnam..”
The peace keepers, the silent but forgotten, group of military
personal….the ones, that did not endure battle,and who are almost apologitic, because they did not….he simply said..I was a Marine, I kept the peace….I humbly say..I cannot do you or any other Marine, justice by my words…I cannot…
I fall short of your sacrfice, be it in peace time or war time..you were and will always be, this “Band of Brothers” ....
