be less selfish

Well I am working towards my goal. I have made major changes in leaps and bounds. But to key is to make them stick. Not really sure if I will ever complete this goal. Since this is a goal that could change at the Blink of an eye. In my opinion if you consider this goal completed then your work will be done. Not true I have learned that being less selfish will always be a goal. I guess i should have made this goal to not be selfish at all. I think this is just a goal that will always be a task. For me the first thing and biggest thing that I had to realize is that I needed to put my wife and children ahead of myself. Especially my wife since she was the one that sacrificed the most. I am a Stay at home dad of 4 girls 15, 9, and the twins are 3. I never thought going from first to number sixth could feel so good. That was the easy part the other is for them to believe in you . when you are selfish you tend to condition the minds of your surrounding people to expect your selfish ways. When you make the changes there will be times when people don’t believe in you. Until you create new history to push the bad history away. I am sure it will be nice when they forget about the past. As for me I can never forgot where or how I was. Those memories remind me to appreciate my family even more. I owe my family so much I feel I will never make it up to them. But I can make a difference

Well I am working towards my goal. I have made major changes in leaps and bounds. But to key is to make them stick. Not really sure if I will ever complete this goal. Since this is a goal that could change at the Blink of an eye. In my opinion if you consider this goal completed then your work will be done. Not true I have learned that being less selfish will always be a goal. I guess i should have made this goal to not be selfish at all. well at least that is the way i am looking at.

I always think about myself first. Its become sort of a survival thing for me. I want to consider others more, and and be more attentive and sensative to the needs of others. I want to be a better person. I want to help others.

I am selfish and want to show my love for others through kindness and putting others ahead of myself. So i can Treat my wife and kids the way they deserve to be treated and loved. I am a very giveing person and will do anything for anyone. so i know how i just need to be the same for my family and put them first. Any suggestions are welcome and criticism.

I’ve looked in the mirror and just saw my reflection. But I really didn’t SEE myself. Today it really hit me. After taking a philosophy ethics class and learning about morals, researching Ben Franklin (my idol), and coming to my psychology class today (talking about selfish people)...I realized, holy shit…those behaviors are what I often do. Ben Franklin I feel is selfless and achieved so much to help the people of the colonies and laid the foundation for our Country.

And then a funny thing happened on the drive home. My husband called me and asked if he could borrow some money. Instantly I was rattling off “I berely have any money, I have money but it’s for gas, why do you need money? What am I supposed to do.” He said “Whatever, don’t worry about it.” I hung up thinking, he’s a big boy, he has a job, he doesn’t know how to handle money, I’ve lived on less that what he said he has ($9) for days and days, and there’s food at home-he needs to stop buying fast food.

After cooling off a little bit I thought about everything that I had been learning the last week and even that day at school. Maybe he really did need the money. I didn’t even give him a chance to explain why he needed money. Maybe it was for a bill. Then I thought of all the times he’s lent and given me money. It was never a problem for him. In fact he’s one of the most giving people I know. And this was probably the second time he’s ever asked me for money (over our 4yr relationship).

I made the decision that if I want to be a better, less selfish person…here is an opportunity right in my face. I stopped by his work with an envelope with the money he needed, not with a huff of frustration but a smile, because I love him and appreciate him…and money comes and goes. I didn’t say anything other then “here you go.”

If I could describe my behavior in simple terms I feel like a little kid who clings to what I have and finds it painful to give things up. I think part of that has to do with I’ve been manipulated in the past, and think people have bad motives when they ask for something.

Believe me it sucks to admit this, but it’s the truth. The sooner I face the truth the sooner I can fix my actions. Today was the day I faced the truth, the ugly truth. Now I need to break my habits, change my thoughts, and be a giving person.

I am not sure what this goal means to me yet. I just look at my list of goals and they look pretty selfish. I can come up with lots of unselfish things I do. But, somehow when I can do nothing I prefer to spend time alone, doing things for myself. This goal needs more thought, but there is something here for me to explore.

I want to share a story/senario that made me realize the importance of selflessness.

One Monday morning when Rob and Janet arrived at school, they noticed that their teacher, Mr. May, had an interesting smile on his face. “I wonder what Mr. May is going to do today,” Janet whispered to Rob. The other students in the class also seemed curious about what was behind Mr. May’s intriguing smile.

It seemed to take forever for class to begin. When the bell signaled the start of class, Mr. May said, “Today I am going to give each of you three gifts. You may do whatever you wish with the gifts. But the object of receiving these gifts is to get more of them by the end of the week.”

With that short explanation, Mr. May gave each student three small pieces of paper. Rob quickly looked at each one. On one piece of paper was the word “Smile.” A second piece of paper read “Sincere compliment.” The third simply read “Help.”

A student raised her hand and asked, “What are we supposed to do with these?”

Mr. May smiled again. “You can figure it out,” he said.

Determined to get more gifts, Rob stuffed the pieces of paper into his pocket so no one would be able to take them from him. Then he spent the rest of the week trying to get gifts from other people. He poked fun at one of the students in the class and then looked around to see how many people had smiled at him. When he got a good grade on a spelling test, he showed his grade to several people, hoping that someone would give him a sincere compliment. And he reminded Tom of a favor he had done for him once, saying, “We’ll be even if you will help me with my book report.” By the end of the week, all Rob had was three crumpled pieces of paper in his pocket and a sick feeling in his stomach.

Janet didn’t really think about Mr. May’s assignment. She just went about her week as she always did. She greeted everyone with a smile. When she noticed that Emily had done especially well on a math quiz, she congratulated her. Later that week she noticed that Loren was having a hard time with his science project. She helped him with the problem that was frustrating him. By the end of the week, Janet was happier than she had been before, even though she had forgotten about Mr. May’s challenge to get more gifts.

Rob was confused. He had tried hard to get more gifts, but he had failed. Mean-while, he noticed that even though Janet had not done anything different, everyone smiled at her. People were always giving her sincere compliments. And when she needed help with something, someone always seemed to notice and offer assistance.

The important thing is that it is more important to think of others before you think of yourself. Selflessness is not a tool to recieve attention. Service will make us happy. Receiving is just a bonus.

I started volunteering with a dog rescue organization here in Memphis, called Good Dog Rescue. I take photos of dogs to be put on their website. It felt very rewarding to help out even just with the little I did.

I don’t believe there is such a thing as a selfless act, so I question my motives for wanting to be less selfish. They contradict the very idea. There’s nothing wrong with a little PR upkeep though. I’ve been told I’m the nicest person – when I’ve been drinking. I want to be a nice person when I’m sober.

Another reason for questioning this goal, is that I may be trying to force what is not naturally me. However, what bad can come from it? So I’ll start small.

this is another one of those really vague goals for me..i need to figure out what i really want out of this goal.