stop letting my parents run my life

so…. i’m pretty sure they dont really run my life anymore. im dating the man i wanted to… i come and go basically whenever i want… and they dont preach to me anymore so much about drinking… all is wellllllllllll.

It’s weird. I’m getting married in less than a year, and I hate to say it, but my parents are in a power struggle with my boyfriend over what I can do/what I can’t do. My mom has actually said, “Her life is her own after she’s married.” I’m 23. Isn’t my life my own at age 18??? I just look back and see all the mistakes I’ve made – having people lead me around instead of thinking and doing what I want. I never feel in charge of my own life – I’m always torn between what I want to do, and what everyone expects of me, so I’m constantly in a bitchy mood. When I do have “down time,” it’s like I don’t even know what to do because I don’t have anybody telling me what to do – I’m just so used to it. Standing up for myself and choosing what makes me happy is totally going to be an uphill battle.

i have basically no social life because of my parents… they make me stay home and study. and when i get invited to go somewhere they wont let me. they also try to control the way i eat. they think im too fat. they try to change the way i act and dress.. I WANT TO JUST BE ME!!!!

theres nothing i want more than to go to beauty school. but my parents (especially my mother) think its not real college and wont let me go. i cant move out because i have no where near enough money. how do i tell them to let me live my life the way i want to? yeah, im aware i might screw it up but nothings unfixable. rawr. i really want to stomp around like a five year old but thats the last thing thats gonna get them to treat me like an adult. hmph.

I stood up for my boyfriend for probably one of the first times (in at least a long time) last night. It felt good. I was ready to start standing up for myself this morning, but I couldn’t find a way to not be mean.