Stop feeling insignificant

stop allowing others to make me feel insignificant

It’s a constant battle. If i decide who I’d like to be with or who I’d like to be friends with, I instantly remember this face, this body. I see a reflection screaming ugly, yelling fat and annoying. And I push them away. I push my good friends away because I don’t understand why they would want to be my friends. I push the guys i like away because I can’t see how they would want to be with me. That they would be embarassed. I’m sure its far from reality but it’s biting me constantly. The words are being irritirated in my ears and the sound is reverberating and im suffocated from my thoughts but nothing seems to stop them. They continue and they hurt. But they never go away. They never slow down and they will never cease to haunt my mind and dimish any confidence I have built up. I’m starting to believe I’ve done something wrong and karma has come around, but I can’t quite pinpoint anything that could cause this feeling of uselessness. No matter what I do, say, think… it’s there. In the back of my mind. Waiting to see a situation where it would belittle me. Ruin, destroy me. And it’s starting to work in all the wrong ways.