learn to let go

and I don’t think that the job my husband is interested in is a good fit for him. I have bad feelings about this one from overhearing previous phone conversations, and how they are so eager to hire him they’re almost tripping over themselves even though he doesn’t even know how much they will pay him.

There were lots of things said by a youngish, cocky manager that sounded very unprofessional to me.

My gut feeling is driving me nuts.

It is hard to let go.

question about what type of job I’m looking for and what I do. When I couldn’t answer, I felt embarassed. But then I just realized it’s been a loooong time since I’ve job hunted and I have just started looking for work.

So I let that feeling of embarassment go.

I’mnot even going to pussyfoot. I am having a very hard time with letting go all around something always trigger the negativity.

Tomorrow is my first day with a counselor. I am not excited about this. I am really scared that she won’t be able to help me. All I want is to get past my issues. I just want to be able to really fall in love without being scared. I want to be able to sleep witout nightmares. I dont want to be on the defense with men. I hope she can help me.

Little by little I am doing this ut something always triggers me and makes me worry about what I am doing wrong. This one is so hard. I can’t move on without completely doing it.

This oneis tough because I keep reverting tomy okd ways.

This is a lot harder than I thought. I really think that this might be the hardest thing I have ever done.

I was abused by a family friend. Every sense I was abused I have felt I was ugly. He made me feel like I was ugly. For years I went on and had even blocked it out enough to live a normal life. But the problem is that every guy that I meet and doesn’t like me or I do something I think is wrong,I am really hard on myself because I feel like I am being abused all over again. I feel like someone is abusing me because they think I am ugly. And I get really defensive so we can’t even be friends. I just had to vent because it really hurts. I am starting counseling on Thursday I will see how it goes. I will definitely think positively. I have definitely got to make this goal happen.

That struggles with this. I have such a need to control everything and be in control, that I have a hard time just letting life take me where it will and being okay with it. I’m also afraid of what other people might think. I feel I have so much to do and failure is not an option. But it causes me so much stress, if I could just go with the flow, I might feel more liberated.

It’s been 8 months without any move.
I need to get that out of my life.
But it seems like the hardest thing to do, I feel so weak right now.