live for myself

I adhere too much to other peoples’ desires, even when they clash with my own. I need to start doing what’s good for me, too. For example, even if I’m tired, I’ll agree to go out with a friend in the evening, because I don’t want to let them down. But i end up having a bad time. Or else, I rush myself to meet someone at the time they want, even if it doesnt give me time to have a shower. And all the small deprivations add up and bring me down; I end up feeling tired, dirty, unhappy, and it brings down my self esteem.
Another example; I need to study what I want in college, rather than what other people say would be good for me, because it’s my life after all. These things might seem obvious but they’re often not, to me.

I think this is more of a balance of living for myself and still being able to take care of what I need to take care of for everyone else. I’ve always wanted to be able to run off and do whatever I want to do, be by myself and for myself. But it’s just not in my nature.
I consider myself fairly balanced at this point. So I’m finally done.

i feel great
i have had a breakthough im telling you right now
i just want to do everything i thought i couldnt
why was i living for someone else
this is my life
i have control over the things that i do
and the thoughts i have of myself
if i want to be a designer then thats exactly what im going to do
no one can tell you about yourself
you know who you are
you know what you can do
so do it
dont look back

i gotta stop thinking so much about what other people will think. who cares!! i refuse to measure my life and see if it measures up with someone elses if its good enough for me.

Gotta start doing this.
Its time to just do what I want to do
and not think so much about it
FEAR is just a word
it does not have to be a BELIEF

Having a very covertly dysfunctional family, it’s difficult to do the things I want because everything has always been about their needs. So the past week I have been looking up with more hope in becoming aware that I am not responsible for my family’s unhappiness. Slowly changing my mind and environment for myself and what makes me happy. I have only one heart and life, and I need to live for myself.

I’ve had this goal for almost as long as I’ve had this list, and while I very much want to be able to do this, it seems so selfish. Particularly now. I also need to more now than maybe ever.

Live for myself, make time for myself.

I’m starting to do this. My parents are such a big part of my life and they really drain me emotionally. I don’t know what to do.

...to start living for myself. not for my parents…the reputations…my friends. I need to take charge and finally change my life for the better. I keep helping others…which is totally NOT a bad thing, but its gotten to the point where I am the one tending the drunk people in college ( the ones who end up close to death) and doing stuff just to make others happy. I need to figure out what makes me happy, because I kinda lost myself in all that I do.

I rarely live for myself. I always want people around me to be happy. I want them to feel that I am a person that makes them happy. However, I have realized that they never did think about people other than themselves. They never truly listen to other people. They hardly remember what I already told them. Most time they ignore and forget. Do people usually be like this? Do they ever listen to others carefully? “Why did they talk to me?”, I wondered. It seems as if, most time, people only want to talk about themselves-just that.

To me, if other people don’t care about others, why do I have to care about them. But, I don’t think this feeling is right. How should I think? How can I live for myself without feeling guilty?