just glow..

I always loved that scene in Berry Gordy’s “The Last Dragon” when “Sho’ Nuff” pulls “Bruce Leroy” out of the water and he flashes the bullet between his teeth and starts to glow! I felt like that today. (Catches bullets with his teeth?)

I believe it comes from the inside out and it can stem from a combination of many things…good input…good energy…a baby growing…my goal is to fill my soul with so much happiness and contentment, that it radiates from within…and I become effervescent!

ha! Man its been a while since i’ve been on here. I forgot how much i loooved 43things :D.

But anyway, I just thought I should write down that I’ve been glowing, yessir:). And just as I mentioned in my very first entry, that others would have to notice it… well they have! I’ve been told I’ve been glowing by freinds i havent seen in a while and they even used the actual word glowing, i believe their exact words were “fucking glowing”, that’s some hardcore glowing! Truth is, I am a lot happier then I was a year ago and I’m glad it shows. Yup. Tis a good day.

Now, for some odd reason I smile a lot, always have. Or people seem to notice that I do. Actaully, its gone so far that a teacher I once had in high school decribed everyone in the class, and when it was my turn, he happily said that even if Rome was burning, Ohblah would be still be smiling. I guess I never noticed it before, and now even in university i get told the same thing. Maybe I’ve been taking myself to seriously to notice it and I’ve always been self concious about my teeth..gah..hmm.. well anywho I’m starting to beleive that my smiling must be the reason people to tell me I glow. So everybody smile! It will make others around you smile too. I’m not saying you have to over do it and smile all the time like some grinning bafoon, that’s just annoying haha, but cracking a smirk every now and then doesn’t hurt right? Let’s keep us and others around us glowing gatt dammit.

I want to be done with makeup…as it is i use very little, but continue to need it daily to cover up blemishes. I think with a little extra care and a little more exercise, my skin might begin to, sans makeup, just glow…
(I snagged these ideas of a website):

1. Cleansing Routine: A beauty must! Cleanse your skin twice daily (only once if your skin is dry) using a mild, natural, inexpensive cleanser designed for your skin type. Add a couple of drops essential oil of rose, spearmint, or orange to your cleanser to boost its cleaning effect and aromatic quality. Cleansing your skin is especially important before going to bed, because your body excretes toxins through your skin as you sleep. If facial pores are clogged with makeup and dirt, breakouts can occur. If you perspire a lot in your line of work or exercise heavily, then rinse off and massage your body with a coarse cloth or loofah before retiring to remove salt and dead-skin buildup. Your skin needs to breathe while you sleep!
2. Exercise: Try to exercise outside, to help oxygenate your cells with fresh air and facilitate waste removal through your skin. Exercises such as walking, biking, in-line skating, and weight lifting improve cardiovascular fitness and muscular endurance, which translates into increased energy and a rosy complexion. If you live in a city, try to find a green space-a park or a greenway-in which to exercise. If city streets, with their attendant pollution, are your only outdoor option, exercising in a gym may be a better alternative.

3. Sleep, Blissful Sleep: I don’t care what else you do to your skin, if you are sleep deprived your skin will look sallow, dull, tired, and saggy; with your puffy eyes, you will resemble a frog prince or princess. And of course, your energy level will be less than desirable. Sleep: It’s the best-kept skincare secret there is!

4. Sunlight: Ten to fifteen minutes unprotected exposure to sunlight several times a week is essential to the health of your bones and skin. It helps your body absorb calcium, due to the skin’s ability to convert the sun’s rays into vitamin D. Sun exposure helps heal eczema, psoriasis, and acne, and energizes your body. Plus those warm rays just make you feel good all over. If your dermatologist advises you to avoid the sun entirely, other sources of vitamin D include egg yolks, fish liver oil, vitamin-D-supplemented soy or cow’s milk, organ meats, salmon, sardines, and herring.

5. Water: What goes in must go out, and water helps move everything along. Impurities not disposed of in a timely manner via the internal organs of elimination (such as the kidneys, liver, lungs, and large intestine) will find an alternate exit, namely your skin, sometimes referred to as the “third kidney.” Pimples and rashes may develop as your body tries to unload its wastes through your skin. Eight to 12, 8-ounce glasses of pure water a day combined with a fibrous diet will help cleanse your body of toxins and keep your colon functioning as it should. Water also keeps your skin hydrated and moisturized, so drink up!

So I got robbed today. Lost it all, my purse had 2 mobiles, visa card, wallet, id, pictures, sentimental crap, make up, stuff for work. Yup, you name it, it’s in there. I’m a gadget freak, so naturally I was very attached to my mobile:’(.

But you know what.

I’m okey, I paniced, I stressed, I screamed, I cried. But I’m okey.
I’m writing this now not long after it happaned and I realised that all those material things can be replaced. Don’t get me wrong, I’m severly distressed. But it’s ok.

I’m glad that I came to that conclusion and I’m glad I realised how much I foolishly grow attached to things such as a designer bag, or an expensive wallet, trademark make up etc.. I’m sad I lost the memories and the pictures and what not, but I guess I’ll always have them anyway. And as my wise parents said, it could have been worse, at least I’m not hurt.

I needed to vent. I’m going to learn from this experience instead of grumble. It’s taught me how to appreciate some of the things I have and at the same time how things really are not that important after all, so really it’s kinda helped teach me how to glow (in some weird twisted way:) ) and be content with what I have and what really matters.

Just stupid me for even bothering, stupid me for even getting pissed, stupid me for trying to be a good friend.
I’m thankful that I have managed to make some good friends this lifetime, infact I can say I have made two friends that I truly love, but I’m so annoyed with the others which are just there. I would rather be alone then have friends which I am not happy with. Sure we have had our moments but when it comes to certain friendships I know I should have just trusted my gut feeling to begin with. Foolish me for trying to see the good in people, why the hell should I care.
stoooooooooopid people, I have “friends” that just like to piss me off for no reason what so ever, fuck them..

Fine, solution, I just let them have it, my wrath is rare but not pleasant, then I dont feel well. Why do i feel guilty?

Another thing I fail to understand is how a person can think that you have a good friendship when the feeling is not mutual, when I completely and utterly don’t feel the same, are they completely oblivious to what’s happening, or are they too selfcentered to see that a friendship requires an understanding from both sides. What the hell?!

The ignorance is beyond me..

pppffft… who does she think she is?! I don’t need this. I am so done with this bullshit, so done with this friendship, so done with this juvenile drama.

there. Done with my rant. I’m not going to waste any more time or energy on people which I beleive are not giving me anything positive. I feel like I always tend to suck up all the negative energy others have and then end up feeling bad myself, suck it up goood. I take it in to help them and they don’t even deserve it, or do they?! I dunno, I really honestly don’t know. How can I know if this a good person or not?? Is she being fake or is it candid?? How can I stop this, it must be me..
This is the type of thing that makes me want to become anti-social. I retire into my shell and shut off all potential friends. It’s not worth it.
And it’s really not doing much for my glowing..hmpf >(.

I’m done listenting, I’m done pretending, I’m done.

well last goal for a while anyway, until i complete at least half the things on my list then ill start adding new ones.
Strange that i added this goal last.

It’s not so much about the actual goal, just what it represents and how it feels when the glowing gets crackin.
I just want to have that unseen yet very much felt glow that radiates happiness, confidence, and well-being. Hopefully i will get it or at least experience it for a little while daily.. erm ..yeah:).. but the trick is, other people will have to tell me. i dont think it’s something you notice on your own ” im glowing man”.. nope.