find love

So simple, yet so hard. Sometimes it’s hard not to give up.

So. I’m back from my date. It didn’t work out. He wasn’t the same in the flesh, I didn’t find him attractive nor did I want to work on that. He was incredibly shy and there were awkward moments, but it wasn’t hideous and all is not lost.
I have learnt an incredible amount from it. The main thing is that I am attractive and sexy and confident and funny and worth dating and that I should stick to my high expectations of a partner. I could so easily have tried with this guy. Without wanting to sound too full of ego, he was extremely keen, and if I thought that was all I was worth I could’ve continued and known I’d have been adored. But I’ve realised I deserve to try for what I want and that eventually, I’ll be able to get it :)

I’ve met someone (in a manner of speaking, hello match.com!). We’re meeting next week, I’m very excited, he’s so lovely. I have a good feeling about it.

im 15, and have had little luck with any form of love. i eneded up goinf out with a load of random girls, none of which lasted very long; all i want is love

I want to find someone with SA like me… Life ain’t easy and it sucks even more trudging along all by myself.

Hopefully that special one will show up in the next few years. I hope.

So while logging into MSN, this article caught my eye.
Most of them don’t apply as they assume previous dating history but I have to say, 1 is spot on for me. I jut don’t get about enough. As it were…
The trouble is, I just can’t get over feeling like people aren’t that bothered by me and that I’m a bit of a trial to spend time with, despite what might seem evidence to the contrary.
The article suggests finding a ‘partner in crime’ to go out with. Well yes, I’d love to! But most people my age have already found their life partner in crime and the place I live is populated by cliques of people who’ve generally grown up together and already have strong bonds and don’t want/need an addition. That last bit genuinely isn’t an excuse, it’s fact.
Oh I dunno. I’ve just suddenly come over feeling all crap having felt perfectly fine for ages (I know I posted on this just the other week but I wasn’t feeling as crappy as I do at the mo) and this is always the goal I come back to when I’m down. I guess it’s because things would be much better if I had Someone to give me a hug and tell me everything will be OK.

With each woman I meet, and with each date I make, I go on the hope that one of them will eventually be with the one I will build my life with.

And with every relation that does not work out or that ends, I know that I become better by learning from it, and with every woman that passes, the one that I have yet to meet becomes more cherished, for all roads lead to her.

brutally honest, I’m feeling sad about this one at the moment :(

about my 5 year plan.

How wonderful will life be now that I’ve removed him from my home, hopefully for good. Really, trying to talk myself out of my insane urge to call him. (he doesn’t love me, he loves her….he is POISON)

My baby boy will be moving out in three short years. I don’t wanna be like my mom was with my brother and hold onto him and hold him back from living his life but I panicked at the thought of him being gone. I’ll be here with two small children but no L.

I’ll have a successful business…it will grow lovlier and more profitable, turn gradually into my vision…I’ll cook and clean a lot, noisy house, kids, holidays, I’ll get a car, maybe a house, maybe I’ll go back to school, my little ones will start school. Backpacks, lunchboxes, school clothes, all over again.

Best not to bring anyone into my life (even on the off chance that I’d actually meet/find someone). My oldest would be much happier without anyone new.

It sounds nice. I’ll be busy, like now, and more so. I will work very hard.

Noone to share it with. Is that terrible?

By the time I’m healthy and stable enough to think about meeting someone new I’ll be a wrinkled old woman….nearly there now.

I just long for him because he’s at arms length. I’d be miserable. I know this.

So lonely…that’s what gets me in trouble no doubt.

i generally think of myself as a fairly confident person but i guess when it comes to this i realise i’m not. i feel uncomfortable letting someone know me so well because i’m worried they’ll find out i’m not as cool as i’d like.