It made me

Feel Love and Joy

How I did it: This goal was extremely hard to come to terms with.  To think that at one point I was seriously questioning whether I loved my family or not.  It is easy to forget love for ones family when coming into adulthood because we start to see that our families are not as infallible as we once thought, but rather, are just as human as anyone else.

My own personal journey to love my family again the way I use to as a child began 5 years ago when I turned 25.  I began to rebel against my family, deciding to think for myself and make decisions that my family was not happy with.  It was a hard change not only for me, but for them as well.  This is always part of growing up, deciding what your identity will be and spreading one's wings and flying out of the safety of the nest at home.  It took a bit of a toll on my family relationships, more than I expected.

Throughout these four years as I continued to learn more about my family and see their faults, insecurities, and failures, initially I was annoyed and angry with them for their decisions in life, decisions that I naturally benefited from but were now causing them pain.  I turned negative and inward, deciding to no longer seek councel in my family that was once my greatest support system and instead rely soley on myself to keep me afloat. 

This worked for a while, but eventually my inward stress caused so much presenure that I nearly had an emotional breakdown. I knew that I needed to come to terms with my family as they were, not as what I wanted them to be.

This breakthrough allowed me to approach my family again and even though an apology may not have been necessary, I decided to apologize for my distant behaivor and told them I loved them and missed them.  They naturally understood what I had been going through and equally apolozied for their behaivor as well.

Life is a journey.  We need to not be afraid of the journey but rather be students of it.  Assessing what makes us feel good and bad by experience.  Hopefully we do not learn the hard way, but at times its the only way we can learn.

The strategy of accepting my family as they are while at the same time accepting myself for who I am has repaired the relationship, and I can genuinely say that I feel love for my family again as a result. Read how I did it… 1 month ago