love my family

Continue to grow and a wife, mother and grandmother. I want to give them positive support and help them be the best they can be.

i love you guys. more than you know. i would give my life for any one of you if need be. i dont know what i would do if i lost any one of you. mom, i love you. i should say it more often, hell i should say it at least once a year. but i dont. i dont remember ever saying it these past few years. and that, to me is an embarrassment. i feel so weak. i cant even tell my own mother that i love her without it feeling forced and uncomfortable. dad. your not my biological father, but you’ve raised me like your own. but i dont know what happened these past few years. ive become something unknown to you. a stranger. we never talk, and the few times we do talk, its merely an exchange of a few words, like yea, no, i guess etc. i wish it were just a language barrier, but i fear that its far worse than that. we have become more and more distant each year. i dont want that to happen. i love you dad. sister, we were always pretty close, so u dont get anything but an “i love you”. little brother, i know i can be a dick. im sorry. i dont know why i say the things i do sometimes, but it just jumps out. the days when i am a dick to you are also the days that i hate myself. you mean the world to me, and i hope someday, i will have the courage to tell you that.

learn to love them more, and express it

i supposed to do this thing first.but, maybe i forgot it.it was eiduladha in last three day.having all the family members gather is something that i really look forward.but, it was not easy when too many people in the same house.maybe i shuold be more patient, or maybe it was my sibling who were not tolerate enough with me.we did had the best time together, but quarelling, is just something that can not be abandoned.and the question is, if i behave with better manner, if all of us control our ego, will it be the same? is it true that without the fight we will be more happy together?

its jest that I think that I want to give them more and more/////// its the best thing to do! itfilles me up ann makes me happy!

Love my family! I can’t wait for Christmas tomorrow because I get to spend time with my family…especially with those whom I don’t see often!

A couple of weeks ago, I went to the viewing of my father’s uncle. After the mass/prayer was over, we went over to his uncle’s wife to hug and comfort her. I was beside my dad when he went to her…when my dad hugged her, she started to cry really hard (she was married to his uncle for more than 50 years…I can’t even imagine the pain she felt)...I was looking at pictures of her late husband online earlier and I noticed that my dad kind of looked like a younger version of her husband (I thought that probably seeing my dad reminded her of her husband)...I still remember her husband as someone who was full of energy and pure love for life and everyone, even when he was already in his 70s-80s. He’s been in my thoughts a lot lately and I’m always praying for him…May he Rest in Peace…

today i cooked dinner for my family

like a proper dinner
not just a slam-in-the-oven jobbie

they loved it
and it took my 2 hours

it was a proper stew
with tomatoes and basil and beef

[i guess my vegetarian goal isnt working out]

ah well
this ones more important
isnt it?

We are the WEIRDEST family but we are so amazing. Even though the non-stop goodbyes when we leave eachother drive me CRAZY, I am so lucky to have my family.

This past week I spent an entire day alone with my mom in hollywood doing things that she wanted to do. We had some better conversations and I think that she really appreciated it. I also went scuba diving with my step dad, which was a little akward but a bonding experience nevertheless. Oye.

Everybodies family is different… i haven’t always appreciated my family, i often blamed them for situations in which i was placed in without a choice, i blamed them for alot of my problems. Now that im older ive grown to know my family on a more personal level.. ive realised that although they can be blamed for the person i am they can also be praised, without my family i would not be the person i am today. The things that have gone wrong they would change in a heartbeat if only they could.. my parents have made so many sacrifices and made me feel loved in my darkest hours. The simple gestures by the people you love make all the difference and i thank them for that… my family is not the most functional, or perfect.. but they are there when i need them and therefore i’ll love them.