Write down 50 of my favorite memories.

When my mother told me that my brother and cousins would be able to come visit me- then she would be able to visit me too!!

I stared into the abyss. It was every color and no color at once. It swallowed me up and told me it was unspeakable.
Then my boyfriend came outside just in time and gave me a hug.
It was glorious.

I am trying to claw my way out of depression. I’m not a suicide risk but I do have a lot of trouble just getting by each day without breaking down. I’ve been trying hard to find positive ways to spend my time and I think this goal is right up my alley right now….
I guess I’ll share one now!
This is the night my boyfriend and I first kissed.
I was having a get-together at my house(summer of 08) and, of course, he was invited… although we were “just friends” at the time. There were probably about seven or eight of us. We had a lot of fun sitting around a table of candles in the backyard at night passing drinks around. The giant oak tree was swaying over us and the wind just barely shook the flames on the candles. The atmosphere was electric. Perfect summer night.
As it got late people dropped off one by one- passing out on a couch or going home. Some cuddled up to watch a movie and my roommates went to sleep. A couple people lingered outside smoking cigarettes until dawn. My (now) boyfriend and I went to my room, talked and listened to music until somehow a wrestling match began on my queen sized bed. It was insanely fun. I got really hot and decided to change into a tank top. I changed right in front of him- just with my back to him. We got really sweaty (of course) and somehow ended up in a position with him pinning me stomach down. He was breathing on my neck and I didn’t budge an inch. It was awesome.
When we finally got too tired to wrestle anymore we turned on a Beirut c.d. and pushed our foreheads together until one of us (I don’t remember who) had the courage to push that extra centimeter.
We live together now and are very happy with each other and our relationship. That was one of the most glorious moments of my life. I feel high just thinking of it.

I have visited many wonder of the world, such as Taj Maha, tower, sphix…etc, among those, standing on Great Wall is the best. It is a totally fascinating experiencce.

Loved it!

It’s made me took two big bowl of rices. :)

::The Day I Met Neil::

So, here I was, moving again! I hated moving, but most of all, I hated the idea of starting over.
My first day of school, I wouldn’t talk to anyone. I am typically shy in new places, but this time I was shy and didn’t care. You know, the teenage bullshit you talk yourself into believing. ‘Woe is me’ type thing.

Anyway, our house wasn’t ready to be moved into so we were staying at a hotel for a week or two. (A pool in September in Michigan whenever I wanted?? Sweet!!) So, I had to walk with my little sister to the library after school.

I remember the moment I walked in, he was right there playing with those wooden toy train sets you find everywhere. He looked up at me and immediately, I fell for him…had to have been those blue eyes. After sitting there listening to music and writing for nearly an hour, he got the courage to talk to me…he was the first person I talked to in this town…he later became the first person I dated for more than a year, the first person to hear several of my bad, past secrets, and the first person I went to bed with.

Leave it up to me to fall in love with the freshman boy who plays with toy trains. =)

I love you Neil.

It’s happened during my army time. The obstacle course consist of two part. That was free fall from 3 story high building and part swinging down from 10 story building. I was scare to death but I did it.

I was proposed to on this bridge in the park, it was condemned a while back then they repaired it, However I know that my relationship cannot be repaired, I still cherish that memory.

on Sundays when I was young, we’d drive to the beach. I remember packing up those small plastic pails, shovels, even a toy truck, I think. It would be around 11am, because the sun is just right then.

We’d all squeeze into my father’s car and head off, driving into the winding road that lead to the beach. We’d play in the sand, my three siblings and I.. Grab a freesbie, jump into the hotel pool, play by the seashore, and after we got really tired, had lunch. For starters, it was always fried chicken, with crackers, and we’d have something else, I can’t really re-call what. Orange juice?

On the sand, there were cute little pine cones sprinkled like confetti everywhere, that we’d accidentally step on.. And the taste of the spray of the sea..

I want to do that for just one more time.