Get therapy.

went to the docs today, she referred me to a therapist which im really relieved about as i feel i really need to talk to an outsider about my problems hopefully it will work in helping me get my life on track. HOPEFULLY:D

I want to work with a counselor to sort out my life. I want it to be proactive, though. I don’t want to just sit and complain and wallow in misery. i want to work with someone who can help me make healthier choices, and improve my life.

i’ve seen a few different people for essentially the same problems and the last thing i want to do is go back through all the same crap i’ve been dealing with that still looms over me. i just want it to be done, over with, put away, etc, etc. i’d like to think that i could tackle it myself, but i don’t know if that’s possible. i gotta figure something out, but i think it needs to be something other than these two options.

this should be my #1 ‘thing.’

I had counselling when I was 14-15,to try and get over my parents’ divorce and the fact my dad had gone off with his married cousin,and to deal with my issues of self injury. I ended up stopping self injury due to the behest of a friend who was smoking cannabis and couldn’t take my problems. I didn’t get some of my issues sorted out (I still have a deep mistrust for men,but my relationship with my father is on the mend),but I am willing to take up counselling to solve these issues and hopefully go off to university next year a happier and more trusting person. Plus I don’t have my ex/so called best mate,to boss me about as to how I speak anymore,whoo!

After 4+ weeks of speaking to several different people in the process of getting a therapist, I had my 1st real session yesterday. I am sure I managed to scramble her head a bit as I jumped around from subject to subject.

It was soooo draining…Came home and slept 6 hrs straight! Hell, I am lucky if I can get 3-4 hrs a night and 2 hrs with a nap. Only problem is that now I gotta wait another 2 wks before I go again. But at least I am going!

Well, I’ve been to my first docto’rs appointment. They always start with a screening process. Now I have to make a second one adn the pyschologists will contact me in a month. I’m so anxious..

I had my assessment today, yeah I am real crazy. They are putting me on long term therapy which just means it’s more than 6 months worth. I go in on Monday for an orientation and at the end of the month I see the Dr. Sometime between the 2 appts someone will contact me about counseling.

I don’t think I will count this done until later as I might have a breakdown and just not go. But I feel good about this.

Well I made it to my initial intake. Tuesday they are giving me a full assessment. Turns out that just because I am on SSI, I am not guaranteed therapy via Medicaid. So I hope I am crazy enough.

Step one accomplished! I’ve made an appointment for an intake screening. I’ve been waking up at night from nightmares having a panic attack. This has been going on a little bit for the last 2 years but several times a week this past month.

Curious fact though, while talking to the appointment lady I realized that for the last month I haven’t had any medical marijuana. I take it for physical disabilities, but I guess it really does help my anxiety.

Step two will be just as hard, keeping the appt. If my anxiety level gets too high I am likely to reschedule my appt. But with ya’ll giving me all your CHEERS, I feel good about being able to make it.

Thanks to everyone here!